no. 433 – It’s OK

Sure it’s a bummer that I’m not going to be one of those very fortunate women who miraculously get pregnant on their own after months (years) of treatment. It really makes me wonder what we did right 6 years ago, or what has gone wrong since then. It’s actually scary in some ways that there will probably never be an answer.

However, I am not feeling particularly blue about my present status, referring to it being the beginning of a new cycle. This means that we are done treading water, at least for now, and have found a bit of flotsam to hold onto. Before I go to bed tomorrow night, I will back to the needles.

I am going to suggest to our RE something different. I would like Mr. DD to provide a sample for washing the day of the IUI with the mutual understanding that if things do not look good, we will go with the reserved donor semen. This will also give us an idea if anything has changed over the year with Mr. DD and to have a better idea of how we would proceed with the donor egg, if (and probably when) it comes to that.

Our RE never discussed using donor sperm on the DE cycle, which I never really thought about until Leggy mentioned it in one of her comments. It will be something to consider more seriously as time passes. Personally, I would prefer that any embryos created during a DE be Mr. DD’s. Seems contradictory to all these cycles in the past and maybe I’ll try to explain another time, but I’m sure many of you already can appreciate my feelings about it.

Also, depending on how my ovaries behave during this next cycle we will be thinking whether there will be one or two more dIUIs. It would seem rather pointless to do two more if at the highest level of FSH recommended, I get a half dozen follicles. That’s not anything to sneeze at, but I’d rather get our names on the DE waiting list sooner rather than later.

Clearly, I’m not all too optimistic about the upcoming cycle. It’s not that I believe it will fail. I just don’t believe it will work. It takes to much energy to be enthusiastic about it. Instead I will remain realistic.


One a completely unrelated note:

Things are too quiet over at In-Laws Suck, in both the comment sections and new stories. It’s hard to believe that all of your in-laws are perfect angels. All stories submitted to will be kept completely confidential.

11 thoughts on “no. 433 – It’s OK”

  1. “It’s actually scary in some ways that there will probably never be an answer” — that’s what gets me. As one in the “unexplained” category of IF, I can tell you the imagination is pretty powerful. I’ve generated many off- the-wall theories. I sometimes wonder if I’d have more peace knowing that there’s a definitive reason why we couldn’t conceive. Other times I think it’s better not to know. It could be either or both of us.

  2. I agree with the previous comment above that states since my in-laws suck so regularly, it’s hard to just find isolated incidents. I actually blogged how about lame they are today.

    Sorry about the cycle, but it is good that you are really expanding the options…maybe. I know all of the decisions are tough decisions…

    Have you been with the same RE the entire time?

  3. I’m working on an in laws post… as for the cycle – I added estrace to mine last time – no clue if your lining was thin the last cycle or not and if so the estrace can help – it also seemed to help me with my follicles- not sure why, but it did. Granted that cycle was a bust – but I think that had more to do with DH’s sperm count and that no one truly knows how to deal with my follicles as to when they are supposed to release vs let them percolate kind of thing.

  4. Seriously, my MIL is awesome. My biggest problem with her right now is convincing her that she can stay as long as she wants when she comes in August and that she won’t be “in the way.”

  5. I don’t have inlaws, they both died too young, I never even met them. I do have a PIA SIL though.

    As for protocol ideas: I had luck (getting more eggs, not getting pg) with adding Menopur (which has FSH plus some LH) and also ganireliex so they could push my dose up but keep me from releasing on my own.

    But I’m no RE.

  6. Did you see that new study on estrogen priming and the way it increased egg production in women with POF? I know you aren’t quite having that problem, but maybe a little E2 addition will plump up your eggs, or make more? Can’t hurt to ask, right?

  7. Well, not much to say other than, FUCK.

    Oh and maybe that my in-laws suck on a regular basis but I just don’t get enough time to write about it. I may have to see them tomorrow (you know, that letting us know they’re visiting at the last possible moment crap?) so if any humdingers come out of that I’ll let you know.

  8. Sorry I haven’t been pulling my InLaw weight. but I’m seeing them over Mothers Day weekend… so I’m sure I’ll have lots to talk about after.

  9. Ahem, being realistic would be thinking that it may work. If you have a few follicles and dIUI, it certainly isn’t realistic to assume there is no way it would work.
    Okay, enough hectoring. I understand that it is sometimes far better to expect the worst and then perhaps be surprised then to set yourself up for disappointment. I assume it’s okay if I hope a lot?

  10. I’m glad you are moving forward with a plan. That implies some sort of faith, even if it doesn’t feel that way. I wish you all the best.

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