It’s Memorial Weekend here in the US. It’s the weekend set aside to commemorate the US armed forces killed in war. Many will visit the family cemeteries and place flowers on grave sites. My mother will make several trips this weekend with wreaths of plastic flowers in unnatural colors to different plots and remember. Many others will watch the parade, cook out and here in the Midwest, the water park and swimming pools open for the sumer.
I will also go visit the cemetery that is home to the plot that holds the remains of the unborn babies that did not get their own headstone. Vivienne is there. Wolf is not. But I will bring two candles with me and try not to cry too much.
It is beautiful outside. Unusual for Memorial weekend which is usually marred by seasonal storms.
This weekend will also be the 10, 11 & 12 day post IUI. This cycle has already been decided, I just won’t know for sure what the results are for a couple more days. I’ve written a half-dozen posts in my head about how I will feel and do if it’s negative. It’s much easier to imagine it will be negative than positive. It goes with the odds, I guess.
I just know that right now I’m very tired, not physically, but mentally and spiritually. I keep thinking that some day I’ll wake up and the nightmare will be over.