no. 458 – I’m a Rolling Stone

In the past 24 hours I have done the following:

Cried.

Replied to your emails.

Cried.

Read all your comments at least twice.

Cried.

Avoided posts from pregnant bloggers.

Cried.

Scheduled a botox treatment before the vacation.

Cried.

Confirmed our flight reservations.

Cried.

Half-heartedly attempted to work.

Cried.

Drank a red beer.

Cried.

Deleted my drafted post on the difference between a "Normal Woman" who was newly pregnant and myself.

Cried.

Threw away the half dozen positive HPTs.

Cried.

Restocked my feminine products.

Cried.

Battled another case of hives.

Cried.

Had our names added to the Donor Egg Program list at our clinic.

Cried.

Hugged and kissed my son a hundred times.

Cried.

32 thoughts on “no. 458 – I’m a Rolling Stone”

  1. DD, I am SO incredibly sorry that I haven’t really been able to keep up with my blogging correspondence and I have just now had a moment to read my blogroll. I feel horrible and selfish for not coming here sooner and trying to be of some support. Whatever solace I can offer, I am here. I know that my blog may be hard to visit right now, and that’s okay. We can chat via e-mail if you want. Many huge hugs for you.

  2. Me too, three, four. I am so sorry DD, I had such high hopes given Mr. DD’s results this time, as I’m sure you did. I’m glad you have him and X to hug. I wish I could be there to hug you too.

  3. I so wish I could do more than just tell you how much I’m thinking of you and how much I hate all of this. I hope your vacation provides some relief and relaxation.

  4. I’d offer to let you come punch me if it would help…but…I’m afraid you’d take me up on the offer. Want to come out for margaritas sometime instead?

  5. You are such a productive sort. All those chores as well as crying are good things. You have such a good head on your shoulders, you will get through this. I hope your vacation is restful and renewing as you begin on a different path.

  6. D, please take care of yourself. I’m so glad you’ve got this time to get away. I’ll be thinking of you and sending thoughts for a peaceful, restful vacation.

  7. We will get our babies eventually, one way or another. It doesn’t make anything easier right now and each decision gets harder as time goes by. But we will get there.

  8. Sweety. Oh no, I am so so sad for you right now. There is nothing I could say right now, but I am thinking of you, know that.

    You are such a strong woman, don’t forget that. Hug Mr DD and X and be sad for what you are loosing/have lost. You need to greif in order to being able to move on with the Donor Eggs.

    Lot’s of love from my little corner.

  9. Damn it. I wish I could give away an egg and make it all better. Why does it have to be so hard? Do you have the Dixie Chicks album from last summer? Maybe singing a few of those songs would help, at least on of them is about this kind of situation, it’s called “so hard”.
    love ya

  10. I’m hoping all goes well with the Donor Egg Program. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you, but I know… first things first. You’re in my thoughts during your grieving.

  11. Oh my God DD.

    There’s nothing I can say to make you feel better honey, I know that. Please know that I understand.
    E-mail me if you’d like, even if you just want to scream at someone.

    My love to you DD, my love and my thoughts and a great big Fuck you to whoever decided this was what was to happen in your life…

  12. Cry your little heart out! It does help. I am so so so sorry. I know you don’t want to hear, “I am so sorry” but I truly am.

    I am drinking wine in your honor tonight.

  13. I didn’t post a comment previously because I just couldn’t think of anything useful to say.

    Still nothing useful… how about enjoy the vacation? You’re stronger than you think.. and deserve only the best. happy upcoming birthday 🙂

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