I have to admit I feel as unpregnant as I did three months ago. I would give anything to feel something besides some cramping, which has also pretty much disappeared.

Earlier I mentioned breast tenderness? Gone.

I understand that a majority of symptoms do not manifest until closer to six weeks, but let’s hypothesize here for just a  moment.

Let’s say that the ever illusive hCG was increasing as it should. Since my initial levels started off higher, wouldn’t it then make sense that if I was going to feel any symptoms, I would feel them earlier?

So of course I am now justifying the reason I am not feeling anything is because there’s going to be nothing to feel.

Much suckage would ensue.

On the other hand, I remember Wolf. That sly embryo kept me forever at the edge of my seat in a pregnancy-induced schizophrenia:

“I didn’t get pregnant. It’s over.”

“I’m pregnant, but it’s over.”

“The beta didn’t increase. It’s over.”

“The beta increased, but didn’t double. Now it’s over.”

“Wow, the beta increased in less than 40 hours! It can’t be over!”

“Empty gestational sac. It’s really over.”

“Hey! Now there’s a heartbeat! I can finally be ‘cautiously optimistic’ and enjoy the idea of not having the crappy symptoms!”

“Ooops. Enlarged gestational sac. Yep. This time it’s over.”

Hence, the name Wolf (The Girl Who Cried Pregnant).

Only three more days until the third beta. At least I can be thankful it’s not another six days, right?

Is valium bad during a pregnancy, even I don’t mix it with alcohol?


  1. I have a theory — totally unproven seeing as it rests on a sample size of one — that the adrenaline of early betas wards off the symptoms. I let myself relax just a teeny, tiny bit and WHAM!! I am hit with all the symptoms all at once. I was way more nauseous in the two pregnancies that never even had a heartbeat, so go figure.

  2. I remember Wolf as well… as for symptoms – I did not have any for SD (Squeak) so I can relate. I know symptoms are reassuring, but they can also be a big old mind f’ck as well as they wax and wane. I seriously think we need a red light on our abdomen that glows to let us know all is well.

  3. Yep, I remember Wolf and I remember you writing that you just “knew” it was all over before having your doubling Beta. Therefore, I now put no credibility in any of your pregnancy intuition. The following is to be read to the area below your navel.
    Hang in there. We are all hoping very, very hard that you stay around for a good long while.

  4. You do not have a placental blood link yet so go with the valium if you want to. I had a very low dose of tablets at 2mg each.

    You know that I am Xmas-carding you, even though I have not e-mailed you, right???

  5. It doesn’t help with the waiting or the angst – but every pregnancy is different. We are all pulling for different = GOOD. Maybe a few stiff drinks to take your mind off it? 😉

  6. These next three days will march slower than any three days you’ve experienced thus far. I wish I could move time and space for you.

    However you do have T-Day to pig out and linger into a trypophan coma. You are pigging out on Thanksgiving, right?

  7. I never really had much in the way of symptoms.

    Not that it helps, I’m sure.

    Fingers crossed. Wish I had something which would take your mind off it. Though I’m not sure I can outdo Jitters’s story about the poo…

  8. your thoughts on valium? I had them often, too. Let me know what you find out ….

    Hang in there, DD. It’s tough. And I wish it weren’t. All those horrible memories? Sometimes I wonder whether they are a form of traumatic stress syndrom.

    Thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed.

  9. I think I did that for like, Oh I don’t know. My entire pregnancy. I’m not going to go all cliche on you, because well, I don’t want to be all unicorns and rainbows when I know you’re probably shitting your pants, but I’m rooting for you.

  10. Wanna learn how to knit? I can teach you online or over the phone. LEt’s see, what else do I have…

    Remember that kid that pooed on the floor at the party I was at this weekend? Well it appears that she left another pile hiding in a toy. yup, I got a call last night from the neighbor laughing hysterically and I could see her husband gagging outside. He obviously had to pick it up. They could not figure out where the smell was coming from until their 4 year old notified them about the poop. He “got into it” lets say for lack of ruining your lunch. Funny thing, she dropped her second load in the back of a large plastic dump truck Oh the irony.

  11. It’s awful that you have those kinds of memeories to compare this too. I hope this is different, very different, in that “different id good” kind of way.

    Hang in there.

  12. I would be in the same state of obsessive mode as you.
    3 days until beta?
    Hmmm, well Thanksgiving is in there so hopefully X Boy will keep you on your toes and you won’t think about it to much.

    Ok, it’s snowing here. It’s also cold. Do you like the snow? Did you know that no two snowflakes are alike? Did you know that I’m trying to make small talk? Do you have any idea how hard it is to make small talk when you are the only one talking? 😀

  13. DD, I hope your beta has done what it is supposed to do. Should I share that with my DE pregnancy that I had almost no symptoms and my initial beta was 468? I didn’t really get any symptoms until around 12 weeks. I know, assvice and all that, but I am hoping for you.

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