BECAUSE

Because my breasts are losing tenderness and fullness.

Because I’m not as tired in the afternoon anymore.

Because I’m not ravenous at meal times anymore.

Because I can think of nothing else and my work is suffering.

Because I choke back tears every time I realize it’s another whole week.

Because I can’t sleep.

Because I had to tell my allergy physician that I was “technically” pregnant and had to explain.

Because I’ll be seven weeks on Friday and instead of any symptoms getting stronger, they are waning.

Because of these things, I called and asked the clinic for a scan tomorrow.

I’m sorry I couldn’t maintain that positive front and if I disappointed you in anyway.

Because I just don’t believe.