. . . As far as Murdock goes and you could have knocked me over with a feather when the PA (not R*bbie) told me so. I didn’t get to see the heart beat, but she said it was. She had the screen pulled in close to her. All I could see was the gestational sac and something still in it. I was also given a new glossy black and white picture to take home.
I return for another scan as scheduled on Thursday, the 13th.
I feel rather sheepish and I honestly don’t believe I have any more right to be obsessed and paranoid over any one else, but I keep being reminded that I “have been through so much”.
I admit that I feel a bit defensive when I’m told that, just because I believe I shouldn’t have to go through all these cycles and miscarriages. No one should to get what they want. It sucks.
When I asked the PA if there are other women who get a little stir-crazy during this time, she said the same thing to me (about going through so much). I asked her when do they start to level out and get their wits about them. She replied that they don’t until they go home with the baby.
In some ways that made me feel better as for not feeling like a freak; on the other hand, I potentially have seven more months to feel like this. That sucks, too.
For now though, Murdock is on track and that certainly does NOT suck.