no. 569 – Quarter

I’ve made it through one quarter of a pregnancy – 10 weeks. With this last appointment, I have been instructed to seek a "prenatal" appointment with an OB; wean myself off the estrace; reduce my PIO shots to just one every other day for another week (damn!); and scheduled my "Ultra Scan" which is what my RE’s clinic calls the Nuchal Tranlucency Screening test in another two weeks.

So, now that we’ve got that out of the way, we need to talk.

I’ve learned a lot about blogging in 2 1/2 years. I learned a lot about myself and infertility. I have developed a list in my head over the years of what I would do if I was ever to get (and theoretically stay) pregnant.

I will post ultrasound pictures

I will not post belly shots

I will not nickname the pregnancy after something edible (Peanut, Raisin, Goober, etc.)

I will not set up blinkies or tickers

I will not compile a birth plan

I will not post a 12-part birth story

Etc.

Etc.

Notice all the "Don’ts"?

I thought I was rather confident about my one "Do" – Continue to Blog.

But now? I just don’t know what you want to read about as I’ve based my above opinions on what irked me in the past (if I was able to get past the envy, pick my ass off the floor, and continue to read someone’s blog after they got pregnant). Obviously the "relationship" we had has changed. It’s not even a subtle change, either. It’s palatable, trust me.

I am out of my element.

Infertility….

Miscarriages…..

These were my comfort zones, as sick as that may sound, so now I flounder. I know that for many, you don’t know what to say, what to offer, but I seriously can’t find my voice in an empty forest.