I was reading some opinions from parents on whether or not they found out the sex of their unborn baby when I stumbled upon this statement:

From Susan ~ We Had our first ultrasound a little too early, though the tech said “well it looks like a girl.” Because of complications later on, we found out for sure…yeah… it was a girl. We had already started calling her Kimberlee, so I would have felt as if I lost a child if it had been a boy.

Is it the bitter in me or is Susan totally shallow and clueless?

no. 583 – Perspective on Luck

Let me first preface this by stating for the record, I adore my OB’s nurse. I will call her Helmut due to her hairstyle that has not changed significantly in the 7 years I’ve known her. Helmut has a way of making me feel as if I’m the OB’s only patient and is acutely aware of our circumstances, now and in the past. I say this because I don’t want you giving her a verbal smack-down after I tell you about today’s appointment.

During the blood pressure check, she asked how I had been feeling and wanted to know if I’ve had any cramping or spotting. I told her that I had some cramping yesterday and that I had also been sick that morning, which is the second time this pregnancy. Yes, I know, "lucky" me.

"That’s good," she said. "You’ll be 14 weeks tomorrow (it’s actually Thursday…). You were right around 14 weeks with your first fetal demise, weren’t you?"

Deer in the headlights look from me.

"Yes," I finally answered, "somewhere between 14 and 15 weeks."

"Did you have any nausea then?"

I then explained that in all actuality I never once puked with XBoy until delivery (post-anesthetic reaction) and I never puked with Vivienne. I just had a continuous feeling of exhaustion combined with ass-mouth.

I understand that all the websites go on and on about how nausea with pregnancy, especially in the first trimester is more than normal, it’s expected. I guess they say that so when you are vomiting up breakfast every morning you don’t freak out. Fine. I get it.

But do I really need to have the thought that NOT being sick is bad? Do I really need to have this information stuck in my head?

The International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology in 2006, found that of 7,000 women studied, those who had nausea in the first three months were far less likely to miscarry. That appeared to support a study by the National Institutes of Health, which found that women who had morning sickness in the first four months of pregnancy were 30 percent less likely to miscarry.

When no one can really find a reason for morning sickness, except maybe a tie to increasing hormone levels, how important is it for me to be sick or not sick? My progesterone with Wolf was sky-high at 90+ and I was never nauseas (even if that pregnancy only lasted 8 weeks). My beta levels with Murdock had everyone in my clinic, many of you and even myself convinced there had to be at least two embryos going…and there weren’t. Those high levels haven’t had me trying to vomit quietly in my work trash can.

Maybe I’m just feeling particularly pissy because I’m on the cusp of Murdock doing or dying, but I don’t like the implication that nausea is better. Even my allergist  said something similar about 7 weeks ago.

I just want to enjoy the FACT that right now I’m rarely nauseous and that everything is STILL just fine with Murdock, while at the same time I don’t want to hear how "lucky" I am to not be super sick. Lucky would have been me coming home from work to listen to my 6 year old boy whine about his 2 1/2 year old sister being in his room playing with his stuff.