Regarding our decision to not find out Murdock’s gender at the 20w scan:
We did not find out the sex of XBoy, even though we were subjected to an advanced anatomical screen and an amnio due to the effen triple screen (now NEW and IMPROVED Quad Screen!), and I was presented with a lovely little envelope that if I had opened it prior to XBoy’s birth, I would have been handed the number of chromosomes said fetus had acquired. Instead I let the OB tell me that XBoy was "normal" – relatively speaking.
I socked that information away per Mr. DD and I’s mutual agreement. However, this time, it’s not so mutual. He’s of the sort, "There’s so few real surprises in life," to which I argue in my head, "Oh, honey, yes there are too many…I was surprised by miscarriage number one, two, three AND four!" but I figure we argue enough as it is about him leaving his shoes anywhere but the mud room, so why bother? I was able to wait it out before, I can wait it out again.
An additional surprise bonus is that of course we have no idea if Murdock is even going to end up Caucasian (a preference based on our own appearances not bigotry so don’t read into that), even though that’s what we were told the donor was. We’ve discussed possible outcomes, just for the shits and giggles and all, and we couldn’t care less as long as Murdock is breathing. Plus, it’d really be worth it to see the look on my FIL’s face if we presented his grandchild to him with a name that required the obligatory (‘) apostrophe.
If you were to ask, yes, I do have a preference on the sex. Am I going to tell you? Sorry, my dears, no. You might guess a girl, since I’ve lost two that we know of. You might guess boy because then I wouldn’t be thinking "replacement baby". Either way, it’s out of my hands and if wishes were stars and all that crap…
Also, we figure we know the exact date of conception and will end up knowing the exact date of delivery (barring any other unpleasant surprises) due to my decision to go with a repeat c-section, why not have something more than, "It’s alive!" to cry my eyes out to at the moment Murdock is yanked out by his (or her) head, like some sort of prize catfish in a noodling contest?