no. 596 – TypePad? Suck it!*

There are dozens of sites out there that I could publish my blog to. I tried Blogger. Blah…

I have my WordPress, which drives me insane sometimes.

But both of these are FREE! They get to make me insane under the protection of them being FREE!

I have higher expectations, therefore, from TypePad. So why is it then that lately, only about 75% of the comments actually get emailed to me? Here I was thinking you must think I suck (OK, so you do think that but most of you are kind enough to still comment), and I see that it’s TypePad who must think I suck which is why it’s been keeping your comments hoarded all to itself. Greedy Bastard.

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So about those bloody boogers? Yep. Got ’em. Plus my body has decided to throw in a nasty gum infection so it feels like I have a piece of steak (*barf*) stuck between my canine and the neighboring tooth, not to mention that every time I brush my teeth, I think of the movie, "There Will Be Blood".

Basadds So, who wants to hang out with me and my swollen, bloody gums while I try to discretely pick my nose?

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* My apologies to Peeved Michelle for my blatant use of her site’s catch phrase. Someday I’ll be a big girl and have one of my own.

no. 595 – First Sex, Then Sleeping Together

Now I’m going to go over some of the comments about the mattress/sleeping situation:

I do wear earplugs. Every night.

Every night for the past I don’t-know-how-many-years-but-at-least-seven.

Actually I wear an earplug because one ear gets protected by the pillow so only the ear exposed gets the plug. When I roll over, I have to switch ears. I’m an expert at stuffing my ears with the plugs. I would even go so far as to say I’m an earplug connoisseur. I’ve tried the silicone ones that swimmers use: sucked. I’ve tried the kind the have little ridges: sucked. I’m only happy with these little foam ones, which indicate they are good up to a decibel reading of 32. Did you notice that they are the "Ultras"?

I did try the little pink ones, smaller for the delicate female ear, but after years of stuffing foam in my ear canal, delicate they are not. You’ve heard the saying, "throwing a hotdog down a hallway", right? Same idea, but applied to my ear canals.

Mr. DD was diagnosed with a slight apnea several years ago, but the ENT didn’t think it warranted a home CPAP machine. Instead, he performed a LAUP (laser-assisted uvulopalatoplasty) or a palatopharyngoplasty (PPP) depending on who you are talking to. If you don’t want to read through the link, here’s what happened:

First they did take out his tonsils, which he had kept all those years. Then the ENT took a laser and enlarged the opening to the throat. Go look in the mirror and open your mouth really wide. See that crazy little goobery thing hanging down? That’s your uvula. Just like any other part of the body, it can get fat, which can cause airway blockage, i.e. snoring.

Mr. DD’s dental hygienist still has to do a double-take since all you see when you look into Mr. DD’s mouth is a cave opening. No stalactites for him. It took months for him to relearn to swallow as your uvula, for the most part, prevents food and liquid from going up into your airway passages.

The snoring was significantly reduced. However, the one thing the ENT couldn’t do for my husband was to enforce the weight loss that was suggested. While Mr. DD isn’t significantly obese, he’s 220 and 5’11". He could easily lose 20lbs without looking emaciated. The freaky thing is is I don’t know how he continues to gain weight when I am the worst cook in the world. Worst meaning: I don’t cook, he does.

So there you go. One of the most boring posts ever on the issues surrounding our inability to sleep together. Maybe if I read through this enough times, it’ll put me into a deep coma and I won’t need earplugs ………….zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………