21 thoughts on “no. 600 – As I Figured and Feared”

  1. When you decide to adopt and bring up these horror stories, you hear “but that rarely happens – it just seems like it does because each case is so highly publicized.”

    It should NEVER happen.

    I’ll never forget handing my baby girl back over to her very irresponsible mother.

  2. I am struggling to find where the best interests of the child fit in here since that is what adoption supposed to be about.

    Not to open a huge comparison discussion but I get so frustrated by domestic adoption. The BM should have no say. We are so f’ed up in the way we approach these situations. Don’t even get me started about international adoption, believe me, it is no piece of cake either.

  3. Every woman going through IVF keeps it close to her chest. A woman who has lost 3 children would only be more private and fearful, and understandably wouldn’t tell anyone. I get it that they ruled based on “her violating a contract” for “the best interests of the child”, but surely once bonding has commenced that best interest is already placed? My kids are the same age as that little one and they definitely know me from Adam – how balanced is the removal, then?

    The culture of infertility – continuing to be misunderstood every. single. day.

  4. I wish I hadn’t read this. Just when my faith in the world is starting to rise this happens. My heart goes out to this family. They have lost too much for one family to bear.

  5. This has to be terrifying to every couple that adopts. I used to lie awake nights with the fear that S1 would somehow be taken from us-even after the adoption was finalized. This family is living in a nightmare.I completely understand them not telling anyone about their pregnancy. After we lost 3, I didn’t tell anyone except my mom (and husband knew of course) that we were expecting. The more people you tell, the more you have to untell when you are already reeling from another loss. My heart just breaks for this couple.

  6. I’m going to risk getting flamed here, and say it sounds from the information I’ve seen, which is assuredly incomplete, that the judge did the right thing. The a-parents didn’t tell the agency or the first mother that they were pregnant, despite the fact that the first mother had specifically requested a family with no bio children. Yes, it was all terribly uncertain and no they had no way of knowing that this pregnancy would work out, but it was a deception at the start of a relationship which was supposed to go on for the rest of this child’s life, how would you feel if you found out such a lie? I can understand why they did it, I think it’s horrible that this little boy is having his life disrupted, I feel terrible for the a-parents, and hope beyond belief that their bio son is ok, but what they did was wrong in the context of the relationship they set up with the first mother.

  7. The whole angle of the birth mother seems very odd here, I just don’t understand how she could be saying at one point that she knew, then saying she didn’t know.

    And now she is okay to parent, yet she wasn’t before? Where is the baby going to end up?

    I hope the child they have in the hospital is okay, at least thank God they still have him. What a mess. The damn agency should have their license yanked for the fuck up.

  8. I am so saddened for this poor family. They deserve to be able to raise the little boy that they were chosen to raise, and love both him and his brother. Instead, he has been taken away from them and their biological son is still fighting for his life. This poor family.

  9. God. I am so dumb and naive. I really thought the family would win. I feel so stupid in believing the court would see what was right. I can’t imagine what that poor family is feeling right now. To have one son in the hospital and one son soon to be ripped from your lives because some judge was too afraid to do the right thing.

    I also feel really bad for any family on a waiting list with that adoption agency. I would imagine quite a few of them are thinking “what if…?” right now.

  10. I think the best interest of the child should have outweighed any contractual error on the part of any party. I am still unclear as to whether the adoptive parents specifically signed paperwork that said that they were not allowed to be pregnant and if they knew of the birthmothers desire to place the child with a family who had no biological children. Either way, it is a very very sad case.

  11. Are you kidding me? How the hell is it in the best interest of the baby?!?!?!?!
    Why on earth is the BM still aloud to dictate what happens to this little boy?! Didn’t she sign her rights away?


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