no. 601 – Yakkity, Yak, Yak

What do the bubonic plague, hantavirus and bird flu all have in common? They were all unwelcome visitors at our humble abode this weekend.

Well, obviously not, but since Mr. DD and I had never seen XBoy as sick as he had been, we take advantage of the event to grossly exaggerate.

XBoy came home with Mr. DD Friday night and after having supper, they went into our bedroom and vegged out watching TV. As I walked by XBoy lounging in our bed, I ruffled his hair, which is when I first noted his fever. He hadn’t complained of anything yet, but we decided to give him a fever reducer.

About 9:00 while I was sitting in the family room enjoying How to Look Good Naked, I was snapped out it by a pounding on the wall. Usually Mr. DD gives a thump or two when he notices he’s out of toilet paper (why can’t men notice that before they sit down to poop??). But this wasn’t the SOS for t.p. This was a pictures-falling-off-the-wall pounding.

I found both XBoy and Mr. DD in the water closet and the smell of vomit greeted me before I saw what looked like a scene from a horror movie: red liquid and chunks of stuff were on both walls as well as all over the toilet. You think that’s gross? Well, you didn’t have to see or smell it.

Mr. DD said XBoy was asleep when he started to cough then gag and suddenly stuff was coming up. He picked him up and carried him into the bathroom just as XBoy released the rest of his stomach contents.

XBoy thought all the yuck was blood and freaked out even more, especially since he’s never vomited like that before. We assured him that it was punch and ketchup. Actually I let Mr. DD assure him since I was throwing towels to them, getting cool washcloths and preparing a mop bucket.

What is it about the smell of bile that makes you want to empty your own stomach, anyway?

XBoy slept in our bedroom so we could keep an eye on him. He was sick again in the early morning hours and all day Saturday he was in a pretty vegetative state, sleeping off and on and demanding cuddle time (he NEVER cuddles). His fever never let up, and it was all we could do to get him to take a sip or two of fluid at a time. Last night I was worried we would have to take him to the ER, but after checking his hydration via the pinch test and the fact he was able to pee before going to bed, we decided to see how he was in the morning.

He slept hard, and woke with low-grade fever and stomach cramps. After getting him to finally eat something and take some more fever reducer, he’s doing much, much better. Just in time to annoy the crap out of Mr. DD with excited chatter as they get red-necktified by the Daytona 500.

As for me? I’m going to take advantage of the distraction and catch a nap. I’ve caught a nasty cold myself, which seems to be located mostly in my back. My cold is the direct descendant of Mr. DD’s man flu. So a whole weekend, shot to shit (and vomit) with the help of a variety of illnesses. Yeehaw.