no. 617 – How To Ask If A Woman Is Pregnant

I was "outed" last week by someone in another department. As many of you know, there’s a certain irony there.

Then earlier this week, another person from a completely different department came into my office, squatted down next to my chair and whispered, "I just have to ask…you’ve always have had a flat tummy*…are you pregnant?"

She’s smooth, wouldn’t you agree? "Flat tummy"? Hooo-boy, talk about laying it on sweetly before going for the jugular.

And that’s how you ask an acquaintance if she’s pregnant.

Certainly better than the "Is there a bun in the oven?" question.

14 thoughts on “no. 617 – How To Ask If A Woman Is Pregnant”

  1. Someone in my office (who knew that we were trying) asked me flat out “are you expecting?”. I said yes and she said “well, you’re showing” and walked off. No congratulations, no nothing.

    I’ve never forgotten that. Nasty woman.

  2. I am another one who never asks unless it is patently obvious. Your co-worker is definitely smooth though!!

    As someone who is slightly larger than average, I actually just looked fat for much of my pregnancy so would have been quite chuffed if someone had said “are you pregnant?” because it meant that I was looking pregnant rather than just fat. In the end no-one asked me until I was about 8 months gone !!

  3. I too never ask. This because once I was a lifeguard and told a woman that she couldn’t go down a waterslide as she was pregnant.

    She told me she wasn’t pregnant, simply that she had an overactive thyroid.

    Cue apologies.

  4. Well done by her – come in with the compliment first!

    If it were me, I’d have smelled a rat. I’ve NEVER had a flat tummy. 🙂

    Put me in the “I never ask” camp either.

  5. I would watch that one…she is a sneaky sort. For the record, I would NEVER ask…and I bet not many women that had gone through IF would, knowing how a negative answer would make the lady with the belly feel. Nobody ever needed to ask me, it was pretty obvious that it was more than bean gas distention.

  6. I never ask. But my husband came home from work last summer and told me he had asked a co-worker. I was tempted to tackle him and beat him to a pulp, but then he said that her due date was within 2 weeks and I forgave him.

    Ahhh. I wish someone would say I had a flat tummy. Big Sigh. Of course they’d be lying!

  7. At least she tempered it with some flattery.

    Having been asked if I was when I wasn’t, I’m in the better not to ask camp. I mean, people DO generally announce these things if they want it know, right?

    (weird fat + unflattering top apparently = mortification for me)*

    *twice in 5 years, not that I am keeping track or anything.

  8. Put me in the never ask camp. BUT, your co-worker did a really good job of it.

    I was once tempted to ask. I almost did but chickened out. Then someone else came in the room (who she knew better)and said, “How many weeks now?”. Her prompt reply of “36 weeks”. Tells you just how far along she was and def. in the safe zone of asking…

  9. I never ever ask. You can’t be sure if it is pregnancy or weirdly fat or a really unflattering (empire waist) top. A former boss once asked a woman and it was just an unflattering top. Talk about embarrassing!

You can say it here.

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