In February I silently noted the passing of the due date of our pregnancy from May – the one that "should have been" considering that we surmounted the odds and got pregnant through IUI with my eggs and Mr. DD’s sperm – something we hadn’t been able to do with any of the prior IUIs.
Once I lost Vivienne, I stopped cataloging my due dates. For me they were just "potential" dates, nothing more. Instead the dates that remain the most vivid to me are the ones surrounding the falling betas and D&Cs, the moment it felt as if the world was crashing in around my ears.
I think that’s one of the reasons I started the website The Maternal Heart’s Essence right after that miscarriage, to give that date, and the three others, more validity, to make real what is no longer physically present.
A recent post by Tina from My Many Blessings and a subsequent one by Mel over at Stirrup Queens reminded me that the site is not just for me. It’s a memorial to anyone who has lost someone precious and not just to themselves, but to our community through blogging as well. Many of us went through these losses hand-in-hand with the support and comfort of fellow bloggers, and too many go through it alone. No one should have to.
I want to thank Mel who is advocating the Maternal Heart’s Essence purpose through her Lost and Found and Connections Abound site. I plan on providing reminders monthly here about it as well as ask you to stop by there to see who might appreciate the extra thought, the extra gesture, during a painful time to the couples who have their dates listed.
I have also created a badge that links to the site. Here is the code if you would like to add it to your blog’s sidebar (replace the * with " )
The link goes directly to the "About" page and provides the email address requests for dates can be sent to.