Guess Who’s Still Pregnant?

You all ready for an update on Murdock? I know, I know. Another pregnancy-related post from an infertile blogger…how dull!

22 weeks and 6 days. Good enough for me to say “23 weeks”.

I have actually gone up to three days without using my doppler thanks to enough Easter candy consumed to keep Murdock buzzing for hours. It takes a lot of sugar to get him/her to kick hard enough to feel it through that annoyingly placed placenta…and stomach fat.

Women often describe the feeling of having the baby kick with such sweet sentiments like, “it feels like butterfly wings” or “softly popping bubbles”. To me it feels like gas except I know that my intestines have moved too far out and up to be that. Or here’s another description I gave to my husband the other night:

You know how you get a muscle twitch in your back or your eyelid and no matter how many times you rub or squeeze or poke at it, it continues to twitch involuntarily? Yeah. Now that’s what it feels like.

My boobs have morphed into those of a 40 year old wet-nurse. Oh, wait. Never mind.

I wish I could brag about my “bump”, but it’s in a rather sad state. Because of the weight I gained during the years of treatment, all in the middle section, it’s like I have a double decker bump: above the belly button is the top deck carrying my stomach and then below the belly button is the bottom deck with Murdock. Another way to imagine it (if you dare) is take a regular inflated balloon and squeeze it in the middle for a while then let go. See how it goes bump, indent, then bump again?

My thighs have become things of beauty, if the Rubenesque figure was still in vogue.

So there you go. An honest disclosure of pregnancy at six months. All told, it’s not been too bad. Hell, I’m still pregnant, right?

Three more months to go, give a week or two. All I have left to do is buy the necessities for the baby since here is the list I have:

  • Crib

And here’s what I need:

  • Everyfuckingthing else

I’ve got plenty of time, right?

16 thoughts on “Guess Who’s Still Pregnant?”

  1. Congrats on Murdock turning 23 (weeks)…and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with a double decker bump!


  2. “I have: Crib

    And here’s what I need: Everyfuckingthing else”

    I’m right with you sister. I can’t walk through the baby section in a store if there is already someone else there. It feels weird and I get all panicky. I’ll be 17 weeks tomorrow and I haven’t told my mom yet. And she didn’t even go out of the country…..

  3. I don’t know why I thought that when I got pregnant my fat would miraculously turn into a cute little baby bump and all of sudden I would be able to wear super cute maternity cloths. It didn’t happen and I’m still a little pissed about that. I was counting on that as my one chance to look good fat!

    Glad to hear things are going well.

  4. I had to stop by, having read your comment at Oh, the Joys today. So funny, I had to read it aloud to my husband.

    And I see you have my friend Adrienne linked, too.

    Best to you on having your belly turn from two to one. Pregnant, I was a mess of lumps.

  5. OH – I also should have added that there were many people that, even when I was 8+ months along, didn’t know I was pregnant. They thought I’d just gained a lot of weight. Lovely, no?

  6. And you will have your Baby Bjorn too! I still have it and have been waiting to send it back to you…wanted you to be ready to have it back. AND there will other things in the box that I just can’t tell you about. MUHAHAHAHAHAhAHAHAHA!!!!

  7. Sounds like we are shaped the same right now. Heh. And the first few times I felt kicks, I said the same thing – nerve in my eye twitching.

    Congrats on still be pregnant. Have a crib puts you one up on me.

  8. I totally get the gas thing, that’s how I described it when I was pg, too. In fact, the gas I have now feels so much the same, I wonder sometimes if I could secretly be pregnant. And then I get my period.

    Glad you and Murdock are well at 23 weeks! Whoo hooo!

  9. I totally agree with your description of the baby movement. Definitely like a muscle twitch to start with. And then gas. hahaha. Although I never had gas bumps like that until AFTER Ant was born.

    You definitely have plenty of time. After all, most of what you “have to have” is actually crap.

    And I don’t buy the double decker bump at all. Not from the pics I’ve seen, where I think you look quite svelte!

  10. Our social worker assures us that it can be done in one afternoon (the shopping that is.)

    About the double decker bump . . . will it make you feel any better to know that my body is worse than your description of yours and there’s not even a reason for it in my case??

    Probably not, but there you go.

    23 weeks! Woohoo! (can I do that now?)

  11. That’s pretty much exactly where I found myself when pregnant with #2- all I had left was the crib and the baby wasn’t even going to be in that for 4 months after birth. Once I had the car seat though, I felt ready. Everything else was rather secondary. Well, some form of clothes are good because I have winter babies, but with your summer baby you don’t need layers at least 🙂

  12. Well, whenever you DO get around to shopping, ENJOY IT. I would so love to be shopping for baby things. BUT…that’s the way it goes, sometimes.

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