WHY CAN’T I QUIT YOU?

I don’t intend to quit blogging altogether, just on typepad. It may not seem like such a big deal since I already have this one as a “back up”, but it’s just that I have a sentimental attachment to that one…

Plus, I know that there will be a few (OK, “several” since I know Dino will point that out) that will not join me here.

Last night I was thinking about why an absolute transition to mommy blogger seems to be more difficult for those who went through infertility. Now granted, there are a couple (actually, I can only name one), who made that leap successfully, but why is that? It’s not like ALL infertile bloggers stop blogging once they bring home a baby, even though most eventually do.

I actually follow quite a few parenting blogs. I’ve tried to “assimilate” myself into that community by commenting, emailing, and while I initially have some success, it’s really hard to maintain a foot in that door. I use to be a HUGE commenter on Mama Drama. Loved the blog. Funny ladies, Jenny, Steph and Min all were readers and commenters on my typepad blog. And then I had my fourth miscarriage last June.

I never heard from them again (until recently I started following Jenny on her new blog, The Bloggess). No sympathetic comments then and no congratulations on my donor egg pregnancy months later. It was because I had stopped going to their blog to drop my blips of wit and sarcasm – give me a break – I was mourning. In other words, I would comment on the blog and they would follow the comment back; not because they had added me to their reader. Jenny, if you are reading this now, I do understand that the task would have been monumental since you were all really just employees of the blog corporation. But you should know, it hurt.

Also, as I’ve mentioned before, I cannot constantly be “on”. I don’t have a funny anecdote to everything that goes on in my life. I’m not a performer, and most mommy bloggers that I’ve read are performers geared towards entertaining. While Infertility blogs certainly can be entertaining, mostly they are meant to provide support and information. Keyword searches for my other blog are from women trying to find out more on betas, miscarriages, ovulation, FETs, donor eggs, etc. Getting an email from someone who has just started treatment and has questions gives me immense satisfaction and purpose because I do want to help other women get through this SUCKAGE that is infertility.

But back to my point about the differences. I get parenting on the whole. It’s hard. It’s fun. So I can relate to nearly 100% with what a lot of parenting blog authors are discussing. However, try to take one of those women and see what they understand about infertility and miscarriage, and….well, they don’t. They’ve never been there, and most of them never will. So the reciprocation becomes strained and eventually peters out.

I know that I’m coming to the end of my travels, in more ways than one. Who knows if it wouldn’t have ended sooner if I hadn’t become pregnant. Who knows if it will end in July (the good Lord willing I deliver a healthy baby). I don’t have an answer to that. I might just end up like so many other great blogs of the past, like a “…a fart in the wind…”