B.S. – THE OTHER DIRTY WORD

Some friends want to throw a baby shower for me. I have told them repeatedly I don’t want one. It doesn’t seem right that a 40 year old woman with a child already should have a Baby Shower. She reminded me that the shower isn’t for me, but for Murdock and each baby should get a shower, regardless if first or fourth.

I told her that I had thought about doing something along the lines of meet and greet. We could set aside a couple of hours for all the busy bodies amongst our friends and families to stop by and marvel at the 41 year old’s physical ability to have a baby, plus a chance to snoop through the medicine cabinet and pull one another into the next room to breathlessly whisper, “My God, she got HUUUGE!”.

You know. Like a “normal” Baby Shower.

My friend argued back that I am not going to feel up to preparing for a party after the baby is born (I said it would be at my house because if I’m going to be self-conscious about my appearance, it will at least be on my turf). Personally, I don’t feel up to do anything right now, either. Some may say if I agree to do this to have it at someone else’s home because then I won’t have to clean up or I could leave when I want. Trust me. I have no problem delegating the clean up to the family hunchback or telling the super-skinny and fit friend to get the fuck out of my house after she’s told the story for the tenth time about her all-natural births of her three perfect children, all exactly 24 months apart. I have never been very socially graced, so compounding hormones into the formula gives me a perfect excuse.

So, what do you think? A shower for my age and circumstance, is that a no-no? If OK – would it be better to do it before or after Murdock makes what we all hope is a live appearance? And yes, I expect opinions to be tempered by histories of infertility and/or loss. They are usually the most sage.

Maybe I’ll take all the commenters’ names and throw them in the hat as a drawing for an autographed picture of me on the mower one of these weekends. I’d even make sure to shave my pits/legs/toes/upper lip and sexily part my eyebrows just for the photo spread. MeeeROOOWWWRRR.

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Thanks for the sweet wishes for XBoy. You’re good people.