Things here have been relatively par for the course now that ZGirl is home. What exactly does that entail?

  • Utter exhaustion because I can’t seem to make myself sleep when she does (like right now), which has led to no less then two mini, teary breakdowns.
  • Limited quality time with XBoy, who besides allowing a few pictures of the two of them together, are rarely seen in the same room.
  • Times where I’d like to jack Mr. DD over the head with a blunt object.
  • Panic attacks when I wake three hours after putting ZGirl down to sleep and realized she hasn’t woke yet.

To be fair, each of those times are tempered by the fact I actually did it – brought home a baby and I don’t think it’s just been a dream.

I stare at her and I see a lot of XBoy’s infant features. I also try to imagine our donor and what she may have looked like. ZGirl’s ears are not her father’s. They are more swirly, more like an exotic sea shell. Her toes are like mine, in how they taper in length, but they will be longer, more graceful. I’ve already heard that she looks like me, and I didn’t feel defensive about it like I thought I might. Instead I just smiled back and accepted the compliment.

Mr. DD returns to work next week and I now can appreciate the necessity of a sling or a wrap, but still am overwhelmed with the options. I’m a little freaked out that it’ll just be the two of us even though Mr. DD has been of restricted assistance anyway due to the decision to give breastfeeding (I prefer the term “nursing”) a try, which has been relatively painless. At night we are trying a split of responsibilities where he gets up when she fusses to change diapers and soothe. If she remains fussy and roots, I then get up to nurse.

The only downside to that is even with earplugs in, I hear her little barks before he does, which means I’m up before AND after he’s asleep. See third bullet item above for how I feel about that.

So now I’m going to see how Murphy’s Law will affect me and get this published and go lie down. You can presume that ZGirl woke within 10 minutes.

Um….never mind. She’s up now. Later.

15 thoughts on “PAR”

  1. Just wanted to drop by and say congrats on the arrival of your little bundle of breakdown-inducing joy! If you’re not having mini breakdowns every now and again, you’re just not trying hard enough. Or you’re super-competent, one or the other.


  2. I’m glad the nursing is working out for you, DD.

    I used a Bjorn. I wish I had something that would have workd with nursing too, but the Bjorn worked well to allow me to get up and about with the baby.

    I, too, just smile and accept the ‘he looks like you’ comments.

  3. Only 2 mini breakdowns? I think I had 2 breakdowns in the last hour and I don’t have a newborn!

    I am so happy to hear things are going so well!

  4. A sling? Will have to look those up – didn’t have one myself. I did have a Snugglie (think that’s the name – no time to look it up right now) and I enjoyed using it very much. The first one I had was very basic. For my second child I was given a more deluxe one that had wider, softer straps, and more of them for added support. Plus the area for the baby was more comfortable for them. With my 2nd child I used to walk to the local small town grocery store (car had been totalled in accident when I was still pregnant) and the Snuggly was very handy, and I think my daughter enjoyed it too!

    Congratulations again. Kudos on the nursing. And hang in there – you’re doing great!

  5. Definitely a Hotsling – I loved mine so did my Z – was ok until he was over 1. I have a mei tai now he is bigger and that works too but not so hot for a new born.

    Glad the nursing is going well.

  6. Well, I am glad to read that you are giving nursing a try, really, why not for a little while, especially if you are painfree.

    As for sleeping when they do, I’ve never completely mastered that, but if you can get a good nap during the day, to make up for missing some at night, you’ll be okay.

  7. Glad to hear things are going quite well for you. Looks like (based on the fact that you are posting) your hands are feeling better. I hope that clears up for you as you will kind of need your hands for the next couple years. 😉 They will be full, HA! Yeah, long week here in Wisconsin.

    I never got a sling, though I really wanted one. But then I was home in the middle of winter with Marjorie so had no where to go anyway and way back then I could hold her in one arm. Not anymore and the little turd won’t hang on. Guess we haven’t dropped her enough to make her scared enough to hang on. 😉

    Keep up the good work Mommy.

  8. I really liked the HotSling when Max was tiny. Target has ’em or you can order directly from HotSling. Hands free, no extra fabric, and happy baby.

    Oh you gotta check out the new thing from Graco too! Sweetpeace baby soother. this thing could be worth its weight in gold!

    Hang in there, chickadee! you can do it!

  9. Only two mini breakdowns? Woo-hoo, give yourself a pat on the back DD (really, I am NOT being sarcastic here).
    I found nursing was much easier the second time around – glad it’s working out for you.
    Z-girl looks so sweet, I refuse to believe she can be fussy at all or that she makes noises anywhere near as undignified as “little barks”.
    Seriously though, hang in there as you know it gets easier.

  10. Oh stop – you are making it all sound too glamorous and like way too much fun!

    Seriously, hope you get some rest. I’m terrified I will turn into the biggest bitch ever with nursing and not sleeping – I just keep reminding myself it is a short(ish) period of time.

  11. I panicked when Daver went back to work, but then again, I wanted to murder him until Alex finally started sleeping through the night. I won’t tell you when that was. Too depressing.

    I’ll be anxiously watching the recommendations for slings, tho.

  12. Only have a minute — but would highly recommend a wrap to start with. It’s much more secure and I felt better using it v/s a sling when KT was little. I loved the Moby. Some people don’t like the learning curve or the sheer amount of fabric but it wasn’t an issue for me.

    Then when she got older we switched to a sling and an Ergo.

    Hope that you can get some sleep! I’m always awake at each little noise too. Even at 20 months.

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