ACK. ICK.

Is it too soon to reach a level of New Baby Neuroticism that makes me want to go grocery shopping just so I can put the baby on a fruit scale to see if she’s gaining weight?

And with an ironic twist to the above sentence, what would you like to know about me that is completely non-baby related? I don’t want to end up jumping the shark, blogging style, by writing about All Baby, All the Time.

I do plan on writing soon about how I’ve called my husband a douchebag no less then a thousand times in my head this past week. However, in a coin toss between an extended blog post and a shower, the shower won. Be thankful your screen is not scratch and sniff.

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24 thoughts on “ACK. ICK.”

  1. Dude, who had a baby? Anyway, just wanted to pop in to say that I was a huge weight obsessive with P. Her prematurity and reflux meant that I tried to get her weighed a few times a week, then I would frantically evaluate what the resulting weights meant as far as how much/how little weight she had gained. It suuuuuuuuuuucked.

  2. Congrats. I hope all is going well.

    I want to send you baby gift. I’ll get the address from Katrina. I’m assuming you can use a cake of twinkies and a couple of bottles of Jack, right?

  3. Mysteries of life I’d like solved: Why do babies cry as soon as there is shampoo in your eyes? And why doesn’t eau de spit up conceal BO like other perfumes?

    What I’d like to knowaabout YOU? About your past and/or future clay endeavors! I think you hinted at an interest and or past experience pottery, no?

  4. Hmmm, non-baby related question?

    What is your favorite dance?
    or… If you were stranded on a desert island with one book, one cd and one type of food, what would they be?

    On the baby front, how IS Zgirl? And how are you coming along?

  5. Oh, I forgot, dumbass is a regular term applied to my husband, especially when it comes to dealing with Marjorie. I, apparently, expect him to know how to take care of a baby, even though he never had to care for one in 37 years prior to her arrival.

    And MUST.HAVE.ZGIRL.PICTURES.FEELING.WEAK.

  6. You are too kind calling him a douchebag. Steve has been dickhead, f*cker, shithead and many others over the last 6 months, all depends on just how badly he has pissed me off. πŸ˜‰ And he still talks to me and sleeps in the same bed. πŸ˜‰

    Please do share the details of antiqueing in Nebraska. Might be worth a road trip someday. πŸ˜‰

  7. I was gone for over a week and I am yearning for Zgirl info, so I may be little help, but I will try. I did spy her photos on the sidebar and my she is a dear, I could eat her up.

    Hmm…non-baby…how about telling me more about your antique store finds. I am remodeling our bathroom and need inspiration for a funky vanity.

    So glad to hear that you are doing well. (Yes, calling your husband a douschebag is doing well)

  8. My hygiene still isn’t where it used to be!

    I don’t think you’re neurotic at all – I borrowed a very nice scale from my mom that I could use to weigh Ant quite accurately, and did it pre- and post- feed a few times to figure out how much he was actually taking in. So I’m totally on board. And I too think a picture of Z-girl in the fruit scale would be divine!

  9. So you’re saying that it isn’t Nebraska that actually smells, it’s you?

    Douchebag is our phrase of choice in our house too. It needs a comeback, because it’s underplayed.

  10. I want to know what your favorite book and/or movie of all time has been, and why (I am in desperate need of new entertainment at night when the kids go to bed and J is not home yet).

    I wonder if you could have Mr. DD and XBoy create a diversion elsewhere in the store while you covertly slip ZGirl onto the deli scale. And, if so, if you could have someone videotape it.

  11. Call a lactation consultant, they’ll usually not only let you come in and weigh the baby whenever you want but they’ll weigh them before and after a feeding and tell you how much they’re eating.

  12. A baby being weighed on the fruit/vegetable scale would be a great, great photo. I don’t think they’d ever let you shop at that supermarket again. But it would be so worth it.

  13. So if you put the baby on a fruit scale, you know that she has to be naked to get a proper weigh reading, right?

    Just don’t let her pee on the fresh veggies please!

  14. I like hearing the baby stuff πŸ˜‰ However, as you asked, if you could go anywhere in the world with anyone, where/who would it be?! πŸ˜‰

  15. What is (are) your favorite junk food(s)? Favorite pop (soda, cola, whatev’s)? Favorite kinda cake?

    Ok, gotta go eat as I am apparently quite hungry!

  16. Aren’t they all? (douchebags of course). Don;t worry about jumping, we are here for the long haul:)

    Ok..inquiring minds want to know:
    How many places have you lived?
    Who is your favorite relative and why?
    Did you like middle school?
    Chocolate or chewy candy?

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