I never thought I would forget how much time a newborn demands even though they sleep 23 hours a day. ZGirl will blissfully laze away as long as it means staying curled up on my chest. Sneaking a 10 minute shower is nothing short of a gamble. It’s frustrating that in moments of selfishness: showers, extended bathroom breaks, eating, and lastly, blogging, that she performs a coup de grace on my Me Time without mercy.

I know, I know. I really shouldn’t complain. But I will and then move on.

The one thing I thought I’d never be doing almost four weeks postpartum is nursing exclusively. I lost my patience with XBoy when I couldn’t tell if he was getting enough and he was waking every hour, apparently starving to death. I gave in to the siren song of a husband willing to wield a bottle and allow me to sleep for five hours in a row. ZGirl took to nursing like a pro. I only had a day or two of nipple ache (a medical term-to-be if ever there was one) and voila – “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…” (did you know I could get that as a ringtone if I wanted??).

I am not prepared for nursing long-term. I want to introduce a bottle NOW, but will wait until my appointment on Monday to talk it over with the pediatrician. ZGirl has already given her opinion in no uncertain terms on a pacifier: GET THAT FUCKING COLD, HARD, NASTY-ASS THING OUT OF MY MOUTH, BITCH!

Jaunts out of the house are done in a mad scramble and I could easily end up on What Not To Wear for my unwise decisions to just wear whatever I slept in the night before out. I will however put on a non-milk stained t-shirt out of respect. Which reminds me: Mr. DD did make an after midnight run to Wally World a few days after ZGirl came home for a pacifier run. When he returned, he told me how he saw a woman walking around with two wet circles on her t-shirt. He said instead of judging her, he empathized with her plight. I, of course, would have judged her.

I have been out three times to eat with the in-laws in the past couple of weeks. Each time, ZGirl’s timing has been impeccable: demand food just as mine shows up out of the kitchen. It matters not that I nursed her before leaving the house. Not one of the places we went had anywhere private, including last night’s outing, when I had to whip out boobage in the waiting area of the restaurant right under the security camera. I don’t care that nursing is supposed to be a natural  experience. That’s not natural, people. I don’t want to see it so I know most others don’t, either.

So I am either fighting cabin fever or trying to protect my modesty. Imagining a year of this does not exactly inspire me to continue. Some nerve I have, right? Complaining about being able to breastfeed but not really wanting to. You have my permission to virtually bitch-slap me, but before you do, how about a little distraction? Look! It’s ZGirl!

35 thoughts on “B.F. IS NOT MY “BEST FRIEND””

  1. how could you not want to feed her?

    okay, that’s my jab for the year. she is gorgeous. you are free to do whatever the hell you want to do with your breasts. ’nuff said.

  2. She is BEAUTIFUL!

    As for BF – Our little one had the same impeccable timing whenever we would go out. Our food would arrive, immediately he’d wake from his blissful slumber to eat. Sigh. I missed a lot of hot meals!

    We introduced a bottle fairly early on. He took to it ok, NEVEr wanted a pacifier. So there is hope.

    Againk she’s beautiful!

  3. DD,

    Long time no lurk!

    I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy that you finally got your ZGirl!!!!

    Congrats a million times over!

    I’ll be back on the blogging scence soon.


  4. What a gorgeous baby!! 🙂 She really is beautiful. I struggled alot with BF-ing but managed to hang in there and loved it after the first couple of months. I still miss it actually even though I do like having my body back. Consider yourself virtually bitch slapped by me as well! LOL!

  5. I wanted to BF with both of them, (the kids, not the boobs) Maggie didn’t take to it, Will was a little better, but I found that I really didn’t like it, and then when we got thrush, I pretty much gave up.

    OMG DD, she’s so pretty!

  6. First — Gor-geous!

    I fourth aurelia. The time span between feeding will stretch out and if you get her to take a bottle you could have as much as 6-8 hours of freedom. But I too support your right to chose with no judgement (there is enough of that in the world). And while pumping can suck (like for me pumping for twins for all feedings), it’s not so bad if you’re just pumping back-up milk for occasional outings. If you need advice on pumps or things, feel free to ask.


  7. She is so beautiful!

    I never really did the whole BF thing, but pumped – a lot. The funny thing is I didn’t have a problem in front of strangers. Doctors, nurses, the guy that stocked the NICU cupboards (kind of enjoyed seeing the poor guy blush), the NICU cleaning lady – all not a problem. However if friends or relatives were visiting I couldn’t even have the pump sitting out. Just seeing there on the table weirded me out. I’m odd.

  8. Here in Seattle, we’re such hippies, women whip them out anywhere to breast feed. Although I will say I was mildly weirded out at Disneyland once. While in the Tikki Room a woman who was sitting next to me with a toddler (kid was old enough to both walk and talk ) she sat there breastfeeding the toddler and all I could think was isn’t she a little old for this?

  9. It’s not for everyone. We forget that delivering the baby doesn’t mean that you get your body back to yourself if you are breastfeeding. If you don’t like it, you can stop, but it is wonderful that you had a good experience with it. You may want to keep some supply going for some cuddle time.

    There’s always pumping, but once you return to work you’ll be back to whipping boobage out. I wonder if she willl reject a bottle with as much fervor as the pacifier.

  10. Our LC said the same introduce a bottle at 3-4 weeks.
    Baby K has just taken to a pacifier at 19 weeks, so there is hope.

    Now that I am 20 weeks into this thing, I can whip out a boob anywhere, but I have a lot of anxiety about that so I try to bring a bottle when I know I am going to be out.

  11. If she smells you, she prob won’t take the bottle, so hubby’s gotta give a try. And my gosh that is one good-looking baby! I think I need to get some pink things….

  12. I’m with you. I want to breast feed for a variety of reasons but man I feel like a hostage to it and resent that a little. I want to sleep a few more hours in a row and I want to be able to go to the store or my book club without worrying that she will starve in my absence. I’ve been contemplating pumping and feeding her via bottle but that sounds like a pain too. But – what a great dilemma to have!

  13. I have no comments on BF since I know nothing about it.

    But I do know an adorable baby when I see one and ZGirl is one of the most adorable-est!

  14. What a beauty! Does she have Mr. DD’s nose?

    I have a friend who breast fed for 5 years. FIVE YEARS. Not one child; consecutive children. Can you imagine?

  15. What a sweetheart! Thanks for sharing the eye candy 🙂

    Our LC said to start bottle feeding at around 3-4 weeks, and to make sure for the first few months or so to continue to do that every 24 hours or thereabouts. It does seem that’s a good idea, I cannot tell you how many people I know who’s babies take a bottle at that age so they think it’s fine, and then a few weeks later when they go back to work the baby is all “you want me to drink milk out of THAT???” Bottles now make everything easier – unless you want to continue exclusively BFing in which case you pretty much have to pump when you give a bottle… in which case it’s some freedom because you don’t have to pump right when she takes the bottle, but around the same time.

    Sorry, this got a lot longer than I intended!

  16. Ditto Aurelia, in just a few weeks the time between feedings will stretch out. I don’t think introducing a bottle is a bad idea though. I waited until right before I had to go back to work. BIG MISTAKE. We went through like 10 different types of bottles and it took a good month for the baby to really “get it.”

  17. She is just so dang adorable! Wide-eyed and ready to go.

    I agree with Aurelia on breast feeding getting easier. After a couple months she won’t want to eat that often. But you know what’s best for you, so you just do whatever that is.

  18. Dang, she’s cute.

    I admit, I was a BF slacker 1st time around with David. I had no desire whatsoever. He wanted nothing to do with mother’s milk. And I wanted to sleep.

  19. Mmmm, I have to say, I envy you the painfree experience, but if you wait just a teensy little bit more then hon, it does get amazingly better, very very soon. I just spent 5 hours out of the house, no issues, no engorgement, all on my own. Baby at home took a bottle from the sitter, no issues.

    And for going out to restaurants, that will change as well very very soon. You will get a slight hike at 6 weeks in demand, and then a real big slideoff.

    Anyway, if she is that good at nursing she may be fine to take a bottle now. Why not let hubby try it? If she gets hungry when you are out–she’ll eat, no baby ever starved themselves to death.

    Look, you know I’m a committed bfeeder, but if you don’t want to go any further, then I will be judgment free I swear, just think about waiting a tiny bit longer before tossing it overboard. Four weeks is still pretty early in the process.

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