IN JUNIOR HIGH, THIS WAS NORMAL

What in the hell is that?!

Yes, I know. It’s a toilet, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Come, look closer…

With my incredible deducing abilities, I have…well…deduced, that those scuff marks are from someone’s shoe when that someone lifted his/her foot to flush the toilet instead of using their hand.

Now I more than anyone appreciate the desire not to touch anything that could even remotely be covered in poo or pee, but um, don’t you wash your hands AFTER you go to the bathroom?

I bet this is the same kind of person who not only did NOT wash their hands, but then went ahead and turned the knob of the door to exit the bathroom (since there is no window to shimmy through) because it would take monkey toes to open the door using its knob. And wouldn’t trying to get out of your socks and shoes to display said monkey toes be kind of a pain in the ass? 

While I may grimace each time I touch a toilet handle, nothing takes care of my fear of grossness like a good soapy hand wash followed by a very anal use of a disposable towel acting as a papery condom between my newly clean hand and a scurvy bathroom door handle. Knowing that, don’t even ask me how I feel about bathrooms that use JUST the air dryers. I go faint just thinking about it.

Thank god for hand sanitizer and wipes.

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7 thoughts on “IN JUNIOR HIGH, THIS WAS NORMAL”

  1. Hi, my name is Helen. And I’m a foot toilet flusher in public toilets. I won’t touch those things with my hands, and like all true OCD’ers I don’t touch doorknobs and the like in public toilets either.

    I do wash my hands.

    And you will never, ever see me putting a paper ring on the toilet. That’s a step too far. But I do hover. I am guilty of the hovering.

  2. Glad to know I am in good company of the foot flushers. My worst experience of such was when I was lifting my leg (to flush not pee) and my hip popped pretty loudly. It threw me off and I lost my balance on my solo stiletto foot and tumbled down only to realize the person in the stall next to me was my director.

    This story still gets some good laughs.

    Believe it or not, I still foot flush. And I use a paper towel. And if I have to touch anything it is only with my pinky finger. Man I have strong pinky finger, you can hardly imagine the doors I can open with it.

  3. erp!!! lmao… I too am guilty of the “foot flush”… however, I am also anal-retentive to a fault, almost borderline obsessive-compulsive if you will… aside from foot flushing, i coat the seat with toilet paper (AFTER lathering it with hand-sanitizer, if available), and wash hands, use toilet paper to open the handle (if there’s no paper towel)… and wash for at LEAST long enough to sing the alphabet song… i make my daughter do the same… i KNOW what those germs look like under a microscope… and they’re even uglier than you THINK they are!!!! lmao

  4. I have so missed the toilet antics of your office. We also have a foot flusher at our office. And a seat pee’er, I really hate that one. The surprise sit on pee, if you plan to hover lift the damn seat with your foot if you must. 😉

    Sorry you had a rough week but hopefully things start to get settled and better for you soon.

    You have two adorable kids to distract you.

  5. *blushing*

    Umm, I flush with my feet. I do. (I also use a piece of toilet paper to unlock the bathroom door with.)

    I swear most days you would think I was normal!

  6. What never ceases to amaze me is the women in my work loos who will come out of a stall having flushed and then sail straight out the door whilst I am at the sink washing away without stopping. Even if they don’t wash on some principle I think I would wash if someone else was there so I wouldn’t get talked about as a weirdo.

    I am glad our loos would be impossible to flush with your feet.

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