WHAT’S GOOD FOR THE HORMONAL GOOSE

XBoy: Did you color your hair?

Me: Yes.

XBoy: Did you want it to be orange?

Me: *groan*

I didn’t think it looked too bad, but I noticed a bit of “brassiness” to the color, also, especially at the roots. She slopped my head with color first and then came in with highlights. My prior stylist never let color touch my scalp. The new gal, while not bad, wasn’t great. After these family pictures are over and done with, I plan on cutting off my hair. I may just suck it up and go back to my regular stylist.

I have ordered a car seat cozy/cover/bunting/thingymabob. I’ll do a big reveal once I get it.

Since I’ve been blogging, I’ve seen an incredible array of crazy products supposedly designed for babies. Wait, they are actually designed for the parents and their tenterhook hold upon their sanity. And while I was convinced these products were also designed for parents with “sucker” tattooed to their foreheads, I’m rethinking my stance now that I have ZGirl. A reflection of great marketing or utter exhaustion? You be the judge.

For instance, who could forget the Zaky?

babys_zaky21

(um, baby #4 seems to be enjoying Zaky a bit too much…)

Wouldn’t a cotton glove filled with soybeans work just as well? Perfect for the baby who sleeps like the dead when in the sweaty, uncomfortable grasp of an adult, but wakes the moment their butt hits the sweet comfort of a mattress.

I could have used a Thudguard with XBoy, aka Gargantuan Head, when he started walking.

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ZGirl appears to have inherited her father’s cranial dimensions so I just may need to pick me up one of these, weird mouse-like ears and all.

Don’t want to waste precious gas on taking your baby for a drive to help her fall asleep? Well, then, you need to get yourself a Lullabub!

 home-lullabub2

The “Lullabub” is an innovative product that will gently rock a cot automatically & unassisted, in a harmonic rhythm to naturally soothe & settle babies to sleep. Helping the parent attend to other duties or catch up on some much needed and well deserved REST.

Admittedly I am a bit confused on what these contraptions must do to simulate the motions of a mother’s womb, one of the four preset motions, because you see, at 8 1/2 months, the only movement I was creating was the one where I lugged my oversized ass out of my chair to go sit on the toilet to pee and then vice versa.

Finally, we have baby clothing. They are designed with pockets! And zippered flies! And button closures (I saw the an adorable one-piece at Gap. The crotch? Instead of the normal snaps? Buttons. Buttons, people! Me thinks not.)! So I guess the items from The Dirty Birdie shouldn’t surprise me.

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Now I pride myself on the fact I don’t like to take my kids into public looking as if we just stepped out of our Papst-strewn yard of the trailer park, so I would have a hard time with this. On the other hand, I’ve never seen a onesie stained this way. As anyone who has ever dressed their baby in a white onesie can attest, stains of this color normally are limited to the bottom half and to the back-side…if they are incredibly lucky.

This coming from someone who had to wash the straps of ZGirl’s carseat because of one particularly violent and disasterous butt explosion.

You gotta love those manufacturers who take advantage of the hormonally overloaded, credit-card carrying, have-to-have-one-of-everything, sleep-deprived mothers, don’t you?

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9 thoughts on “WHAT’S GOOD FOR THE HORMONAL GOOSE”

  1. Wow… I had no idea there were weird things like that out there for babies. Those hands are kind of creepy.

    For your portrait, maybe get it developed in Black and White…. then you won’t notice the hair if it is too…. vibrant.

  2. OOOOO Xboy went for the zinger. Orange? I color my own hair and had that happen once, not pretty.

    I got one really great tip when S3 was born (I wish I had known this one for the first 2). When I took him out of his crib at night for that feeding, as I picked him up I set a heating pad on the spot where I would bring him back to. In a flash I could remove the pad and lay him down on a warm spot…it worked like a charm!

    Those hand thingys?? Weird and just one more thing for my boys to chew on.

  3. I saw those hand things for the first time after we left the NICU and thanked God that our NICU chose not to go that route! Those things are super creapy.

    I had a friend who purchased knee pads for her baby because she didn’t want his knees to be uncomfortable when he learned to crawl. We made fun of her for quite some time about that one.

  4. Those hands scared the crap out of me when Jenny had them on her site. Buttons? Really?!

    I’m ready to cut all my hair off too. Winter makes it all dry & scraggly.

  5. I used to laugh…but now I have to say it’s not fair to mock. You have no idea what a desperate parent might buy. Here’s where I’m going to admit that we have a Sealy Gentle Vibes crib mattress and it’s the best damn thing we bought for Myles. We call it the magic mattress. He can not resist the power of the magic mattress. Put on some classical music and we get nice long naps out of him…without having to stand there and bounce the bed with our hands (which gets tiresome after the first two minutes…I know…it was the only thing that put him to sleep).

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