After much complaining over my husband’s lack of initiative in doing simple house-hold chores, a fact displayed when I deliberately parked the vacuum cleaner in his path to his side of the bed in which he had the audacity to complain about it not being put away, and then it sat there for a whole week untouched, he actually made a “This might get me laid” attempt this weekend.

“Might” was not just an operative word, but a losing proposition, as you will see.

I’m in ZGirl’s room, nursing, therefore, occupied.

He pops his head around the corner of the doorway, “Do we have any more of the clorox refills for the toilet wand?”

“Yes. There’s a full box in the laundry room (where you left them a couple weeks ago after you went to the store to buy some. Where you left them instead of putting them away in the cabinet under the sink. Where you left them taking up valuable space on my counter top where I fold the laundry. That I wash!).”

He disappears.

He then reappears.

“Do you know which bathroom the wand is in?”

“There’s only two bathrooms that it could be in. You’ll have to look (which, my god, one bathroom you had to pass to stand in ZGirl’s doorway to ask me that. If it’s not in that bathroom, well then, it must be in the other bathroom, which is the one that desperately needs the cleaning!).”

I swear. Is testosterone an antibody for logical thinking?


15 thoughts on “HORMONAL IMBALANCE”

  1. OMG… he cleaned a toilet?? Really… can he teach my husband how? Or perhaps just how to WASH the cookie sheet instead of just throwing it in the oven where it will be out of site. (Oh yes… I did just say that and oh yes… he has done it… on more than one occasion.)

  2. You know that show “How Clean is your house?”? If we left our husbands, they would turn into those gross old bachelors who never clean their toilets and wind up having bacteria growing on their quilts and stuff.

    For reals.

  3. how is it possible…we have the same husband! except mine has the following unamusing variant as well: open a coke, take one swig and then put the 3/4 full bottle in the fridge. when he feels like more soda, he opens a new bottle takes a swig etc etc etc.

  4. Yup. I also understand. If my husband asks me one more time where we keep the kids clothes I’m going to slap him. Seriously what does he think that big white thing with drawers is doing in their room!

  5. I’m married to him too! Or is it that men just share a common brain and us women only get bits and pieces of the thinking parts sent to us when we are good little girls? 😉

    Hope the shitters got cleaned at least.

  6. Even drugs don’t help. When I was talking to BigD earlier I said that I was certain he would be so happy to be in our bed again…he then told me that he didn’t really want to be there because I, yes I, hadn’t swept under the bed and there was too much dog hair around.


    I may hide his pain meds.

  7. Why yes, yes it is. I’m going to start teaching that in my anatomy class in the spring.

    I’m glad you have ZGirl to commiserate with when she gets older. Pity me–I live with three of the male species and have no female companionship.

  8. The inability to find anything is very frustrating. The jokes about the uterus as homing device – not so funny. He does do a lot – just never exactly what I want when I want!

  9. There is a reason we’ve almost always had a cleaning lady, and when we haven’t, I’ve been the one doing it…..I honestly don’t think he could do any of it himself. He CLAIMS to do be able to do it, but can’t seem to actually put anything away, or clean more than the counter and floor. (Like the bits in between don’t exist.)

  10. My hubby got all huffy last night because I hadn’t emptied the dirt cup in the vacuum when I was doing last minute vacuuming because his parents were arriving in 15 minutes. He didn’t lift a finger to make the house presentable and was only getting the vacuum out in some weird hope that the noise would put the baby to sleep (don’t ask…it was his mom’s theory). Let’s not even get started on the argument we had at 12:30 this morning when the baby woke up hungry and he was determined that I not feed her because we “need to break this pattern now”. What pattern? The one where she is hungry and I feed her?

You can say it here.

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