WHAT IF THE 12 STEPS TAKES YOU BACKWARDS?

Let’s say, hypothetically speaking, that you are the hostess of a dinner party. You invite couples who are both long and dear friends as well as a new couple, Mr. & Mrs. A.

You know for a fact that Mr. & Mrs. A are both recovering alcoholics, newly so, as they have at least confided that to you along with the fact they weren’t sure if they wanted to come to your party since they don’t want to be party poopers when others realize they don’t drink, and are for now, uncomfortable with others who drink.

Would you provide  alcohol at your party? For the sake of argument, let’s say no, you wouldn’t. So would you then, on the other hand, send out a mass email to everyone, including Mr. & Mrs. A something to this affect?

“Please bring any liquor you have since at last year’s party we were knocking them back so hard, we ran dry!”

How do you think that would make Mr. & Mrs. A feel?

~~~~~~~~~~ discuss ~~~~~~~~~~

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Here’s why I ask. I’m following BlogHer on Twitter. A recent tweet from BlogHer was this: “Please! Bring babies to BlogHer ’09, I will hold them all!”

I think my stomach actually heaved a bit when I read that. I know that women will bring their children. I also know that even a couple of you who said you might go may even bring your babies.  On the vein of the analogy, if couple Mr. & Mrs. Z called Mr. & Mrs. X and said, “Hey, DD’s not serving alcohol this year. How about we bring a bottle of wine?” That’s between them. But the hostess should do her best to remain as unbiased as possible even though her bestest friends may be booze hounds while her new friends are anything but.

I guess I have unreasonable expectations from the BlogHer execswho really should try to remain neutral considering the increased interest from the infertility community in creating a presence – a force, if you will -within the BlogHer community over recent years.

I have no idea what percentage of the registered blogs on BlogHer.com are IF related, but I’m sure it is small, if not in the single digits, but it’s things like this that make me second guess my desire to go. Why would I want to be around a bunch of women who seem to, as a whole, have no idea how hurtful a comment so banal to 80% of women could be?

Maybe I need to keep in mind that while my own presence there will be as noticeable as a gnat on an elephant’s ass, if I can impress upon one single solitary person how important it is to recognize a fellow peer as a woman, not a “mommy” nor an “infertile”, then all the angst and paranoia I’m feeling that lead up to that moment will be worth it.

Hi. My name is Mrs. A and I’m an alcoholic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since putting this into draft, I’ve had time to think it over and while my initial reaction was one spurred by over-sensitivity, I still feel a bit chuffed. I know realistically you can’t go about life without offending some one at some time. I should know. Also, if I was to use my own analogy, BlogHer will have a cocktail party, and there most certainly will be bloggers there who are recovering or have an addiction and blog about that as well.

Live and let live, but still…. *sigh*