Why is it I only think to chew a breath mint AFTER I’ve had an unexpected conversation (face to face, of course) with someone? I know altoids are powerful, but there’s no way they can waft back into time.

Speaking of smells, I hate/despise/loathe the smell of J&J’s baby lotion. I received some sample-sized bottles and thought, hey, I’ll keep one in my purse for those days I’m wearing sandals and forget to treat my heels. J&J is crap, et al. Gerber’s oatmeal baby lotion on the other hand? Yummmmm.

On the same vein as the halotosis cover-up, why is it on the day I decide to forego makeup and contacts, one of the visitors to the office is a hot, tan, skier from Colorado? I’m sure I made quite an impression:

marcCould this possibly be a case of Art imitating Life? I wonder if she has a line somewhere in the movie that goes something like this, “I just wanted it more, so of course it happened!” Whatever. You have to cut her SOME slack for marrying a living zombie.

Wouldn’t it be kind of cool to have a boyfriend/husband named Jesus?

  • “Jesus, you’re snoring AGAIN!”
  • “Yes, Jesus, I shut off my text notification from Twitter.”
  • “Jesus, I wish once, just once, you would pick up your dirty sandals off the bedroom floor!”


While drafting this, a co-worker popped up behind me and asked, “What’s Punch Drunk?”

“It’s what happens to you when you pop up behind someone at work while their drafting a blog post. Duh!”