FLY ON THE WALL

This is an approximate mock up of how things look when I sit down in front of my lap top. Except I really have darker bags under my eyes and not glow-in-the-dark teeth. Plus, I hope I don’t look nearly as insane in person. Photoshop is a bitch.

01.15 Hazel and me (2)_edited-1

Have a great weekend.

THE ‘YUK’ FACTOR OF SOCIETY

Since most of us are pretty tuned into the fertility and infertility stories about the web, I’d say then that you probably have already heard/read about Elizabeth Adeney in Britain who at 66 is 8 months pregnant with her first child after seeking treatment in the Ukraine.

Full story hereor you can google it and find a wealth of blahdeblah stuff.

What I wanted to highlight was the last paragraph of this story; a quote from Dr. Allan Pacey which sums up his feelings about older women getting pregnant:

“Most people feel uncomfortable about the idea of providing fertility treatment to women beyond the natural menopause. In some ways, setting a cut-off point of 50 is arbitrary. But when you combine the welfare of the child, the health of the mother, and, indeed the ‘yuk’ factor of society, I think that is a reasonable place to end up.”

Contrary to what my husband believed when he read the quote, “yuk” refers to the “ick” factor, not the “ha-ha” factor. Obviously, a man who watches too much comedy TV.

So how’s this for Yuk:

Mel Yukson
Mel Yukson

Mel Gibson, who is 53 knocked it out with his girlfriend who is going on four months pregnant just six weeks after the divorce papers were filed. Not just yuk, but let’s add in douchy leper. Freak.

Not yucky enough?

Tony Yukdall
Tony Yukdall

OK. Then there’s Tony Randall, who at 77 became a father for the first time after impregnating his 27 year old wife. For those who worry about older women not seeing their children reach adulthood, Tony’s oldest child was 7 when his dad started farting up dust.

Larry Yuking
Larry Yuking

A younger new dad was found in Larry King when he was only 67. I, however, have added exponentially a yuk factor to that union based on Larry King’s looks alone. Seriously? Who wants to look up at the ceiling’s mirrors and find that troll hunkering between your thighs? *shudder*

Nanu Yukogi
Nanu Yukogi

All these men are just spry young men when you look at the world’s oldest new dad. Nanu (nanu-nanu!) became a new dad at 90 back in 2007 and plans on having more babies with his oldest son’s widow well until he reaches triple digits.

So that yuk factor? Funny how it seems to apply only to women when it comes to making into a news story’s quote.

PUT YOUR RIGHT SHOE IN AND PUT YOUR RIGHT SHOE OUT

I’m looking for some shoes for ZGirl (yes, even though I know she doesn’t really need them since she can’t walk and really what is the point except no girl should ever leave the house dressed to the nines without a pair of bitchin’ shoes to complete the look even if she is only 10 months old) on eBay and this morning, this ad popped up:

RIGHT SHOES ONLY…

I asked Mr. DD why in the world would someone have JUST the one shoe? And why would you EVEN try to sell it on eBay? Wouldn’t that be something more in line with Craig’s List??

So he tries to make me feel like an ass by suggesting that maybe the baby had a prosthetic and only needed one shoe.

OK, sure, but where would one go to BUY just one shoe? (Yes, obviously – eBay. Smartasses.)

And let’s say that you really do only need one shoe and you go to eBay and voila! someone has just Right shoes…why in the world would you want two RIGHT shoes of the same style where one is new and the other is used (details in ad)??

Why am I even asking you all this?

Because it’s still really early in the morning here and I’ve got no one to talk to except my shoeless baby who is wacking herself in the head with a spoon. Silly baby.

LOOK WHAT I DID!

05.20 clown (7)_edited-1Yeah, yeah. She looks cute (or like a mini clown, which is kinda creepy in a way), yada yada yada, but the reason I’m posting this picture is BEHOLD!! It has a copyright on it!!

I did it allllllll by myself.

Yep. 10 months after my husband got me photoshop for Christmas, I actually figured one option out. I have to give props to the 1 credit course I’m taking at the local college (I won’t even go into how I want to reach across the work station and punch the kid in the neck who’s a totally obnoxious, non-stop talking, loudmouth dolt who is there only to get himself out of financial probation by taking a “pud” course).

Alright. That’s all I wanted to show you. Move along now.

WHEN YOU GET THE MILK FOR FREE

Did you hear about the woman who had twins, each with a different father? The partner was concerned about the boys not looking like him so he demanded a paternity test, and then when he finds out that ONE of the twins is not his, he’s all, oh hell yeah I’m cool with being their dad I’ve been their dad since they were born.

If he was alright with being their dad, then why did he order the paternity test in the first place??

He’s only cool with it now because the birth makes her some kind of medical freak show marvel and not only the proverbial cash cow, but the literal one as well – at least for a while. And that claim to get married some day? Yeah, right. I won’t be holding my breath. At the rate she’s going, she’ll be on Baby Number 8 (she’s halfway there!), the cash flow from the hoolabaloo will have petered out and, and current partner (Baby Daddy No. 3), won’t be so willing to claim another man’s kid(s) as his own when she’s demanding child support.

BOOGER FLICKR

Some of you may have noticed a change to my Flickr account, which I allowed previews to be displayed here on the sidebar of my blog. I’ve made the decision to set the photos specifically of XBoy and ZGirl to be more private so only my contacts via Flickr can see them.

I’m not a particularly paranoid person, especially since I’ll still post pictures here occasionally, it’s just I feel as if I have a bit more control on my blog than I did in my Flickr photostream.

There’s a couple of photos that I really like and I’ve wanted to get them printed larger to have framed. One was a picture of my husband with his sister on a beach in S.C. during our last vacation. He’s always liked it so I thought I would surprise him for our upcoming anniversary.

Flickr offers this option. I used this option. I received one of my completed orders this week. I won’t be using the option again.

Part of it is my fault as I don’t think I formatted the picture with the right dimensions so when it was blown up to an 8×10, they cropped it rather poorly, right into the subject matter, in fact.

I’ve had some success with simply taking my portable card with me to Walgreens to get prints made for my mom, but I figured that if I was using Flickr’s service, with which I have a paid account, that the final quality would be significantly better.

So, yeah, I’m disappointed and instead of anticipating my second order, which was a collage print of XBoy’s first year as a baby for my mom’s birthday, I’m already prepared to be un-dazzled. If it comes out better, and the first print was a fluke, I’ll be sure to let you know.