POTTER, GEORGE, WHATEVER. HE DOESN’T ANSWER TO EITHER.

ppan1I thought I would try subscribing to the twitter feeds through google.reader so I can keep up on the oh so funny things you all are saying and not feel like Bucktooth Betty up on the bleachers in my peter pan collared dress and puffy sleeves.

As my mama would say: It don’t work so good. I can’t even describe the slight feeling of either motion sickness or schizophrenia I have when reading the updates, which include ALL of your replies to many twitterers that I don’t subscribe to so then I feel like I’m eavesdropping on conversations and then I start wondering if it was all code for how you were making fun of me. Because I’m paranoid like that.

See? My eyeballs were softening just enough to allow brain matter to ooze out.

Today I had to unsubscribe. I like by brain matter. And my eyeballs. Both right where they are. They keep my head from looking like a deflated grapefruit.

I got invited to my first GNO last night (GNO = Girl’s Night Out. I didn’t know, either).

Yes, it involved a combination purse AND happy chef (or something) party, but it also included margaritas! Alcohol! In someone ELSE’S house!

Alas, it was a bust. Why? Because Mr. DD had to work late and I had to clean out a rabbit hutch and feed my two rug rhinos.

Rabbit? What rabbit?

georgeUh, yeah. I volunteered to take my brother’s rabbit, who was housing it on behalf of his grandkids who no longer wanted it. I was told when we went to visit the quads that they were going to turn it loose this spring. One fat, brown, bunny, hand-raised by four rambunctious kids wouldn’t make it an hour in the “wild”, and since I have a soft spot for widdle bunny wabbits and “sucker” tatooed to my forehead, I am now the owner of an utterly useless pet named Potter who I was able to get onto the property under the guise of being Xbox’s pet in spite of Mr. DD’s vehement protests, “Don’t ask me to take care of it!” and “You’re not putting it in the shop this winter!”

When he’s not looking, I just roll my eyes and make the yak-yak-yak motion with my hand.

Did you know rabbits can be housebroken? Too bad Potter has been housebroken to crap in his covered hutch and not out in the open area because now I have to lift the damn thing out (the hutch that is, not the rabbit) and carry it out past the yard and dump the contents of poop pellets and urine-soaked sawdust in the field, all the while trying not to gag when the smell of ammonia hits my sinuses. Meanwhile, ZGirl is screeching in protest in the playard that I had to carry downstairs and set up without screaming “motherfucker!” when I pinched my finger, and XBoy is wrinkling his nose in distaste and poking Potter with a piece of straw.

Once the hutch has been scraped out and freshened with new bedding, I have to carry ZGirl back upstairs; come back downstairs, curse some more under my breath some more while I try to break down the playard; and then carry that back upstairs.

All I can add is that rabbits were much more fun and cuter and didn’t smell as bed when I was a kid and my mom took care of them for us; and I don’t get nearly enough GNO* to make up for the fact I have to clean up rabbit poop for the next five years or so.

* Maybe it’s just me, but do you read that as “gyno”?

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10 thoughts on “POTTER, GEORGE, WHATEVER. HE DOESN’T ANSWER TO EITHER.”

  1. Sticking my head firmly in the technological sand when it comes to twitter. I do enough online as it is!

    g

  2. Some grade school science teachers look for classroom bunnies for the kids at school to take care of….it’s a thought 🙂

  3. I would not enjoy the rabbit either. They are stinky, and not nearly cute enough to put up with the smell. Plus, the wild ones eat my petunias and that makes me mad!

    I have added Twitter to the list of technological “advances” that I find to be annoying. Also on the list, the iphone. And bluetooth.

  4. See, that’s how I feel on *regular* Twitter…..

    Do you have any friends who have a farm? (Farms usually have rabbit hutches already ) Or young kids who need a 4H project?

    1. I’ll see if I can keep him alive over the summer, but if my son continues to
      show no interest in caring for him, he will definitely find a new home by
      the time school starts up again.

  5. Rabbits are cute but seem like rather worthless pets.

    I didn’t know you could subscribe to twitter feeds on google reader. No, don’t tell me how – there are too many freaking conversations for me to keep up with as it is.

  6. rabbits. yuk.
    Yes, they ARE cute with their little wriggly noses, soft soft fur and big ears, but I can’t get past the “rodent” part.
    A friend of ours had a pair of rabbits. Of course, we all know what rabbits do. At one point, Mike had 16 rabbits. He tried to talk me into taking one for the kids. I offered to help him get rid of them. I would find a big burlap sack and the closest creek. He didn’t need that kind of help.

    As I’m typing this, I’m looking at the pic of Z-Girl in her bunny ears. I would NEVER put her in a sack.

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