A SLINKY SHE IS NOT

ZGirl fell down the stairs at my SIL’s house this weekend. In a moment of brilliant parenting, I let her toddle off to the living room while I sat in the kitchen. Of course I knew there were stairs, but didn’t think about it. I’m only guessing what happened since my nose was buried in a wine glass, but it would seem she decided to follow one of the older toddlers up the stairs. It wasn’t until I heard a bumpity-bump-WHUMP, followed by high-pitched screaming did I come running.

I found her on the third step from the bottom, in an open-mouthed-carp-out-of-water launch for the next unholy screech that was delivered in full red-zone audio directly into my ear canal as I snatched her up into my arms. The steamroller finally stopped backing over the cat, which was stuffed in a waterlogged set of bagpipes no less than 10 minutes later.

XBoy, who was sitting on the floor playing, said she fell all the way down from the top. I almost ripped him a new one since obviously he witnessed not only the fall but the ascent to where he knew she shouldn’t be, but hello? I’m the mom. I was the one who failed Parenting 101.

She’s fine but for the rug burn on top of her head.

I’ve been mentally flogging myself with a crap-filled diaper that’s been left in the 100 degree heat and humidity since then, all the while with each sloggy thump, I’m chanting, “stupid!, stupid!, stupid!”.

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19 thoughts on “A SLINKY SHE IS NOT”

  1. Zack fell down the stairs on Easter. I was 5 feet from him. He leaned on a door and he disappeared. My MIL threatened to turn me in to DHS. (My DHS worker laughed at the idea)

    So… um yeah… don’t feel too bad.

  2. Apparently, according to my folks, I regularly fell down the stairs at their house. Apparently, according to my folks, it became fun for me and I would laugh as I did it. I think that might explain a lot about me, actually. 🙂

  3. why doesn’t your sil have a gate on the stairs??? I don’t even HAVE a toddler/baby and I have TWO!!

    I’m glad Zgirl is fine!

  4. I just barely got a little luckier than you last night. Gabe and I took the kiddos on a walk over to my in-laws. I was sitting in the living room and Gabe was on the phone near the kids. I thought he was watching Livi but then noticed that he walked away. I walked over to the entryway/staircase area only to look up and see my 11-month-old crawling on around the 3rd step from the top. I about had a heart attack. Luckily I was able to grab her before anything happened but Gabe most definitely got the death stare while I internally whipped myself half to death. Bad mom!!

  5. Will went down the basement steps once. Joe said it was “Ass over teacups” (whatever the hell that means) and he tumblesalted down every.single.step. He was more scared than hurt.

    I can however, blame Joe. Maggie & I were on our way to church when he took his header. Joe was in the basement playing with the damn computer & Will wanted to go “uppastairs” to get his train.

    Glad she’s ok and if you ever needed a glass of wine, that was the time to at least have some handy.

  6. I am not sure, but I am fairly certain it is a law that this has to happen to each child once in toddlerhood. (At least I am hoping that is true).

  7. Oh Good, someone else just did the exact same thing! Whew, relief.

    In our case, Julius fell down a flight of stairs to the basement. And almost landed head first on a concrete floor, but didn’t. So I yelled at his little brother who had left the gate open, and blamed him even though all the adults were there and I had my nose buried in a glass of wine. (Yes, baby was fine as well after screaming a lot.)

    Are we secretly twins?

  8. Yeah, I know how the mental flogging goes. Been doing that since Sunday night when I fed my kid eggs (in ice cream. Seriously. Who knew?) when, you know, he’s allergic to eggs.

    Anyway. I’m glad she’s okay. And I’m convinced these sorts of incidents are MUCH harder on us then them.

    xxx

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