No year in review. Because really, do you give a shit?

No resolutions. I plan on being as annoying/fat/cynical/lame as I have been. Why mess with perfection?

No wild partying tonight. Why? Because kids don’t care that you just “fell asleep” four hours ago in the clothes you had on when you left the house or that you may or may not have dried vomit in your hair.

No hangover tomorrow. I have mental hangovers every day. Why screw that up with booze?

Sorry, I’m cranky. I was out of geritol* this morning and my Depends are riding up the crack of my ass.

Happy New Year!! What are YOUR plans for the evening?

* Spell check wants geritol to be genital. Bwahahahaha!!