Mocking Trumpet

After facebook’s fatal redesign, I’m feeling isolated and unloved. And while I KNOW it’s facebook, I can’t help but be paranoid and think that you, and especially YOU, really just don’t wuv me anymore.

Cue the “mocking trumpet”.

Fun snippets from the past few days?

I’m not sure how to politely address the rules of conduct with the swimming instructor in regards to Aitch, which include: Do Not Touch The Baby. No Not Move Towards The Baby. And most importantly – Do Not Make Eye Contact With The Baby. Let me just play in the water with her for 30 minutes without her flipping out. I especially think the instructor’s attempt to move Aitch’s arms in a (swim) crawl action is totally unnecessary at this stage of the game. She can’t even get a spoon from a dish to her mouth without getting some of the food in her hair, nose or ears. Learning the backstroke just isn’t a priority right now, but – uh – thanks.

Mocking Trumpet

Sparring Partner and I got mad at each other last night just as my head hit the pillow. I said something stupid. He said something stupid(er). I got up and went to the sleeper sofa. He got up and nearly dragged me back into the bedroom and then sat down on the edge of the bed, hoping to talk it out.

I’m sorry, while I think the whole theory of “don’t go to bed angry” is all well and good for newlyweds, it’s never been my incentive to smooth things over. Once I’m in bed, I want to go to sleep. I barely have enough energy to wash my face and brush my teeth at 11:30 at night. I just wanted Sparring Partner to say he’s sorry; that what he said was really fucking insensitive; and then I could say I’m sorry too, and then we’d go to sleep. If on the off-chance I’m still pissed in the morning, THEN (but after I’ve had some coffee) I’ll be glad to get into a verbal pistol-whipping.

Mocking Trumpet

Doodicus has been sneaking stuff to school: silver dollars and other rarer coins that WERE in his closet; football and baseball trading cards; and those damn Bakugan battling toys. Even though we’ve caught him repeatedly with the punishment being whatever he’s sneaking is confiscated for a really, REALLY long time, he STILL tries it. I hate that we have to pat him down every morning. This is normal for an 8 year old boy, right? He’s just trying to show off to his friends, right? He’ll eventually stop, right? RIGHT?!?

Mocking Trumpet


6 thoughts on “Mocking Trumpet”

  1. My 6 year old recently tried to sneak a figure to school. I saw him with two figures and told him to put them away. He came back but had his hands in his pockets and I asked him if he still had the figure and he said no, so I trusted him. In the car he pulled out a damn figure to play with it. I was so mad at him for lying. I assume (hope) its a normal thing for his age.

  2. I don’t know if its normal or not, but my son does that and it drives me CRAZY. I bought a Cosmo recently to read on the treadmill and he brought it into school (what really upset me is that I had it hidden in my nightstand). How totally embarrassing to have the teacher call me and tell me he was showing it to other boys on the playground.

  3. If you are sure Doodicus isn’t be shaken down by the grade school Don Corleone, then don’t worry. One of mine ALWAYS had some trinket from home in his pocket. For him, it was not just for showing off, but a security thing. I dunno, little boys can be odd.

    I agree with “a” about the swim instructors. I would think the back stroke, and olympic moves could wait till “the baby” is at least closer to 2. (or 20).

    Don’t even get me started on the fighting between an idiotic spouse and his wonderful wife. I am close to picking out the suit mine will be buried in. (Actually I have the opposite problem…I am the one that wants to get it the hell over with and mine refuses to talk unless he is spewing snide, mean things. ) I go to bed pissed but I let the dog sit on husbands pillow before I fall asleep. At least THAT makes me smile.

  4. You just have to learn to work the new FB. But I’m not a fan of the new design. Why don’t you start a group to that effect? I’ll join!

    Re: going to bed angry…I do it all the time! However, I never drag myself off to sleep on the couch, and I don’t give a flying crap if my husband does either. I will sleep in my bed, no matter what. If I can’t give off a really nice ice wall, then I’m losing my touch and should be put out to pasture. 🙂 The funny part is that my husband frequently accuses me of being the one to continue the argument when he just wants to stop discussing the subject (frequently true). However, when I refuse to continue the argument, he gets all pissed off about that too. I can’t win…so I might as well sleep comfortably-ish…or at least make it uncomfortable for the other person to sleep!

    Swim instructors -> usually teenage girls looking for a cool job. Not usually experienced with children. But the unfortunate part is that you can’t tell them what they’re doing wrong without looking like a helicopter mom…

    I’m pretty sure all little boys like to keep pockets full of stuff…

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