Road Rage

On my way to work this morning, I was in the left lane and going through an intersection. My light was green and it’s a long green. Just as I was heading across, some fuckface in a gold Lexus SUV pulled out from their red light and instead of turning right and staying in the right lane, it cut immediately in front of me and into the left lane.

I had to brake hard, sending my handbag flying off the seat next to me where it firmly wedged itself under the passenger’s side dashboard. I laid on the horn for several seconds and the SUV swerved as the driver realized its lack of commonfucking sense, but then decided to get their balls out and with spite, stayed in the left lane instead of getting out of my way.

I pulled alongside in the right lane and as I passed the vehicle, I stared into the window to see some bleach-blonde, cuntfaced, whore-bait Bitch driving and she had one of those little fucking white lap-mutts sitting whereelse but on her damn lap.

She had the audacity to glare back at me.

Too soon, I had passed her but I wish I had slowed down long enough to give her not only the finger, but maybe even this sign:

(Since I wasn’t sure what “this” sign was called, I had to take my own damn picture. Try googling “v hand sign with tongue” and see what YOU get… Unrelated – my hands are really dry!)

Not sure what difference it would have made since she will probably do the same thing to another driver tomorrow on her way home to watch Real Housewives marathon after dropping her kid off at school. Once home, she’ll then call her neighbor-friend who remarkably has the same color of blonde hair and bitch about her six-figure-income husband who doesn’t go down on her anymore so she’s gone through three rabbits in the past year.


She’s probably sitting at home right now booking her botox appointment and hasn’t given the incident another thought as she clearly looked at me as if I was in the wrong. Yet, here I am, dedicating a post to her asshattery.

What do you do when you get a sudden case of road rage because of another’s brain farts behind the wheel? Personally, I wish I had one of these installed on my car.