Mirror

My sister asked how Doodicus was doing this year in school. The short answer, compared to last year? Night and Day in that he’s so much better.

Now whether we can attribute that to the ADHD meds or a year of maturity or a different teacher or a different group of peers or even perhaps, a divine combination of all of the above? I don’t know and frankly, I don’t care. Just as long as I can say things are better right now.

At school, that is.

But the fighting and bickering between the two of the male members of the family at home are enough to make me shout, “Shut. Up!” (which is a statement that is actually banned from our home, so you can guess how pissed I was to have spewed it) last night as they went back and forth, back and forth, about something so stupid that right now I can’t even remember what it was.

One exchange that I had to step in – yet again – was one that centered on a book Doodicus brought home. They have a program at school that after each book read, they test. Generally, Doodicus has been bringing home books that are short stories, a cover-to-cover read in one sitting. However, this particular book was a chapter book that he brought home weeks ago. After supper last night, I told him he had to read a chapter and then he could play. He told me that he was on chapter 15 and that was the last one.

Wonderful! I exclaimed. Finally we wouldn’t have to see it come home again.

While this exchange was happening, Sparring Partner’s Internal Hearing and Comprehension Modulator had been turned to mute, so he missed what was going on, but he saw Doodicus walking around with this book.

S.P.:  “Why don’t you read that? You’ve been bringing it home for weeks!”

Dood: “I’m going to read a chapter now!” (Immediately on the defense, since duh, that’s what he was settling in to do.)

S.P.: “No you’re not. You’re just wandering around!” (Apparently, walking from the mud room where his backpack is kept and into the living room is “wandering”…)

Dood: “I am, too! And then I’ll be done!”

S.P.: “Well, it’s about time. You’ve had the book for weeks!” (So you’ve shouted – STFU, already.) “Sit your butt down and start!”

Dood: “Mommmmmm!” and the tears of frustration begin which of course adds to the tension and in short, more tears.

It’s fucking ridiculous.

You’ve heard similar stories of conflict between Doodicus and his Dad. Sadly, the situation never seems to get better as far as the butting heads go. Afterwards, I try to pull Sparring Partner aside and ask what the fuck is up his ass that he’s always riding Doodicus’s. He’s normally apologetic – to me – which means jack-shit; and he realizes after the fact that he shouldn’t have said most of what he does. If he can’t be the one to grow up and be the adult, he’s going to push Doodicus further and further away when he’s reaching an age and stage where the two really need to get much, much closer. I’m not panhandling for advice at this point since I can clearly see what the problem is, with the major one being the two are EXACTLY alike in personalities.

When you’re staring into a mirror, that person on the other side of the glass is the most familiar, the most recognizable, but also the only one you can never really reach into without shattering the barrier leaving one image standing alone. I fear that day, which as Doodicus gets older, looms ever closer.