Then You Should’ve Put A Ring On It

I saw on the MSN front page that Sandra Bullock was spotted not wearing her wedding ring. My first and only thought was, “So??”

I haven’t consistently worn my wedding bands in years. I’ll slip it on for special occasions but when I get home, it comes off – if I can get it off. In fact, I wore it Sunday for Doodicus’s 1st Communion and had been unable to get it off since then. This morning after running cold water over my hand and lathering it up with some soap, it finally and painfully, cleared my knuckle.

It’s not that I don’t love my ring. I do. I picked it out myself. A simple platinum band with a circle of gold embedded into the ridge. A very sparkly, round solitaire tops the setting. Up until I got pregnant with Doodicus, I never took it off, not even when working in the garden. Because, hello? It’s a diamond! And platinum! If those two combined couldn’t take a little soil, then what would be the point? But towards the end of my first pregnancy, I removed it. I didn’t want to have it cut off in a worst case scenario.

And then I had this itty bitty baby around who I would slice and dice just with my fingernail, so I left my cheese-grating diamond in the jewelry box until the kid’s skin could toughen up a bit. After I while, I just didn’t notice it missing. Soon the only time I gave it much thought was when I was out with Doodicus as a baby at Target or WalMart knowing someone was probably making assumptions about my situation once seeing my ringless hand.

Then the treatments started and I gained weight. Everywhere. Once on, I wouldn’t have to use the dexterity of other fingers to keep the diamond pointed up as it no longer slid around. It became harder and harder to take it off and then I just stopped putting it on unless it was for those special occasions. Once I got pregnant with Aitch and blew up like a puffer fish (it was so bad, the top of my feet would bear the imprints of the holes of my crocs after wearing them), and the swelling resulted in that horrible carpal tunnel, I couldn’t even fit the ring on past the first knuckle.

No one has asked me where my ring is. Even Sparring Partner hasn’t noticed its absence. Who still looks at another woman’s wedding ring, or lack thereof? With Hollywood I would think it plays even a lesser role in a marriage than it ever has since it seems “old-fashioned” and “traditional”, which are not what I consider Hollywood, and certainly not part of an infamous actor’s daily wardrobe, especially if she’s doing any shooting.

If they want to splash that info all over the web, can they back it up by saying she hasn’t been spotted WITHOUT it for the entirety of their marriage up to this point? Maybe she’s feeling a little bloated. Maybe she was planting some flowers. Maybe she’s having it cleaned. Whatever the reason, to make assumptions about why the lack of wedding ring is ridiculous and pointless. Now if she was sported out shopping and carrying Jesse James’ severed head by his thinning hair, dripping blood all over her Louboutin pumps? Well then, paparazzi, you just might have a story there. Probably a whole lot less judgment, too!

Do you wear your wedding ring? Do you notice when others aren’t?