The Title Is Just Too Obvious

So yeah. First Holy Communion. It was April 18th, right? On February 4th, I sent an email to the in-laws, specifically the in-law who is my son’s Godmother, to give them a heads up – a “save-the-date”, if you will – about the date and our expectations and even our hopes for their presence.

I prepared my son’s invitations and sent them out a couple of weeks before including a RSVP. On April 6th, I followed the invites up with an email to those same people (who have never bothered to RSVP in the past so I wasn’t expecting them to now). I knew that the time of the get together wasn’t wholly convenient, which was at 5:30 Sunday afternoon. We were serving supper after mass, which was at 2:30. Our options were a bit limited as you can see. I was also aware that the Godmother had two young children herself, add to that, she didn’t live here in town.

However, when I heard back from her that she had a “time conflict”, I was livid.

It’s not like I didn’t give her plenty of “warning”. She lives no more than a 90 minute drive away, and her husband was more than capable of staying with the kids, which is so ironic considering she runs them up here all the time to spend time with their grandmother. Also, even if the party had turned completely WILD and lasted longer than 7:30, she still would have been home early. And it’s not like she had to work the next day…

Yeah, I suppose 10 weeks notice was not enough time to make sure she was available. Oh, wait. as a child herself of a pious family and a Catholic school alumni, I guess she only had 8 years to be prepared for this event.

And yes, I checked. You cannot “annul” a Godparent. We’re stuck with her now. So chose wisely the Godparents to your child(ren). Don’t pick someone just because you think it’d be nice to include in-laws in your family’s special and important moments. I can hear the grail knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade stating matter of factly, “He chose poorly.”

Actually, I’m annoyed over the principle of the matter. My son never asked about her, and if it hadn’t been for the fact that I knew she wouldn’t be there I probably wouldn’t be as annoyed.

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12 thoughts on “The Title Is Just Too Obvious”

  1. Girl that is just shitty. I have a hard time dealing with people that don’t take a responsibility like that serious!! I am glad that Doodicus didn’t miss her though!!

  2. Seriously? That’s messed up.

    We went to my husband’s goddaughters First Communion, a 21 hour drive or 3 hour plane trip. Wouldn’t have missed it for anything. 90 minutes? Pshaw. She doesn’t deserve the title Godmother.

  3. Here is why I am such an excellent Catholic:

    The priest who baptized me? Left the priesthood to get married and have some kids.
    My godfather? Knocked up the neighbor, leaving his wife to start on her career of marrying man after man (I believe she’s up to about 5 or 6, but a couple of them have died).
    My godmother? Perfectly nice, but haven’t heard from her in years.

    I was the godparent of last resort for my sister’s last child. If she felt like she could have picked a friend instead of me, she would have. She actually told me that she didn’t think I would provide proper spiritual guidance. 🙂 I didn’t go to my nephew’s First Communion, but then again, I don’t believe I was invited or even knew when it was. Because I didn’t go to the other kids’ First Communions, my sister didn’t feel it necessary to invite me.

    Sorry your inlaws are so annoying. Mine never RSVP to anything either. It’s very frustrating.

  4. God, that’s awful. Check with your lawyer, though – here in Canada a godparent is only responsible for the child’s religious instruction should something happen to both parents – you can still specify someone else in your will to actually give custody too. And then the bad godparent? Would have to lump it.

  5. My own Godmother just died…..at the age of 96. She was my mom’s best friend (my mother knew better than to choose either of my worthless aunts). My Godmother was a wonderful person, though I am guessing she didn’t fill the Godmother role very well. She swore like a sailor, drank Manhattan’s and smoked like a chimney. But man, did I love her.

    She may not have set me straight on the Catholic path I swerved from, but she taught me that God would love me anyway. She never married, never had any kids (and rumor has it, never had sex. Ever. )

    I am guessing Doodicus will have people to guide him if you aren’t there. It may not be the one on the paper, but good people would be there for him.

  6. How I could write a book on this topic. Can’t blog about it, but man, my story is even more drama-filled. I am sorry, and would be fuming too…

  7. I don’t think my godfather ever showed up to my 1st Communion and Confirmation, but he isn’t Catholic and lived 4 hours away. But my godmother, my mom’s sister, was always there. A 90-minute drive on a Sunday afternoon? She should have been there.

  8. I have poorly-chosen godparents myself, and it sucks. Hurts my feelings to this day (and one is my uncle!) I’m still not sure how I’ve done with Little Girl’s godmother. Sorry she didn’t come!

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