Tattoo You

If the number of hits I got today are able to be counted on Heather Mill’s fingers and toes, you KNOW that things are slow.

As for one of the hits that was a result of this query, “does a c section leave a scar”…please, for the love of all that is holy, tell me that the person who actually typed in that question is NOT pregnant. That’s just beyond ignorant and is full-on short bus material.

I could easily go click my Publish button and walk away now, satisfied that my blog was now updated, especially since I have been so fucking tired lately. So, so tired…

I guess updating here is a good way of ignoring the annoying bickering going on between Doodicus and Sparring Partner. At least it’s a way of pretending I’m ignoring it.

One of the women I work with asked for my opinion about a tattoo. When I told her I didn’t have one, she was very surprised. But you’ve got that vibe about you, she said. That’s just anger issues, I responded.

Not really, but I wanted to. You know. Because I DO have anger issues.

She had printed out a sheet of paper with several different styles of flowers, mainly gerber daisies. Once she had selected a style, she was going to have it tattooed onto the top of her foot but to the edge, by her pinkie toe. Wow, I yawned, cool.

I guess I’m envious. Sparring Partner hates the way tattoos look, which in his defense, given the examples he’s seen around here, are raunchingly fugly. If I hadn’t settled down with Sparring Partner, I’d be the aging emo with the red or pink hair – maybe both, and naval, lip and nose piercings. Instead, I’m drive a minivan and enjoy wearing my maternity panties (which I’ve had for over 8 years).

But yes, I would love to have a tattoo. And not just a butterfly on my ankle or a dolphin on my ass. I would love to have a half sleeve on my upper arm, like the one Maggie Gyllenhaal had in Stranger Than Fiction (awesome film).

I think tattoos on the back can look too arbitrary, especially if they’re small. I would want one that says yes, I have a tattoo and I’m damn proud of it, and has the size and elaborate enough to obviously not have been done at 3:00 a.m. after a IHOP binge and still shitfaced from hitting the clubs. I like the ones on the wrist and inner forearms, but I’ll turn up my nose at lower leg and ankle tattoo. I can’t answer why except maybe again, the ones I’ve ever seen have often been accompanied by house arrest ankle bracelets.

Do you have a tattoo? Where is it? Is there a place you wouldn’t have a tattoo?