Tattoo You

If the number of hits I got today are able to be counted on Heather Mill’s fingers and toes, you KNOW that things are slow.

As for one of the hits that was a result of this query, “does a c section leave a scar”…please, for the love of all that is holy, tell me that the person who actually typed in that question is NOT pregnant. That’s just beyond ignorant and is full-on short bus material.

I could easily go click my Publish button and walk away now, satisfied that my blog was now updated, especially since I have been so fucking tired lately. So, so tired…

I guess updating here is a good way of ignoring the annoying bickering going on between Doodicus and Sparring Partner. At least it’s a way of pretending I’m ignoring it.

One of the women I work with asked for my opinion about a tattoo. When I told her I didn’t have one, she was very surprised. But you’ve got that vibe about you, she said. That’s just anger issues, I responded.

Not really, but I wanted to. You know. Because I DO have anger issues.

She had printed out a sheet of paper with several different styles of flowers, mainly gerber daisies. Once she had selected a style, she was going to have it tattooed onto the top of her foot but to the edge, by her pinkie toe. Wow, I yawned, cool.

I guess I’m envious. Sparring Partner hates the way tattoos look, which in his defense, given the examples he’s seen around here, are raunchingly fugly. If I hadn’t settled down with Sparring Partner, I’d be the aging emo with the red or pink hair – maybe both, and naval, lip and nose piercings. Instead, I’m drive a minivan and enjoy wearing my maternity panties (which I’ve had for over 8 years).

But yes, I would love to have a tattoo. And not just a butterfly on my ankle or a dolphin on my ass. I would love to have a half sleeve on my upper arm, like the one Maggie Gyllenhaal had in Stranger Than Fiction (awesome film).

I think tattoos on the back can look too arbitrary, especially if they’re small. I would want one that says yes, I have a tattoo and I’m damn proud of it, and has the size and elaborate enough to obviously not have been done at 3:00 a.m. after a IHOP binge and still shitfaced from hitting the clubs. I like the ones on the wrist and inner forearms, but I’ll turn up my nose at lower leg and ankle tattoo. I can’t answer why except maybe again, the ones I’ve ever seen have often been accompanied by house arrest ankle bracelets.

Do you have a tattoo? Where is it? Is there a place you wouldn’t have a tattoo?

27 thoughts on “Tattoo You”

  1. Yup. Got it in college. On the front of my right hip – able to be covered up by a bathing suit or underware. Shamu – just an amazing animal….and I always wanted to work at Sea World – yeah, kinda dorky, I know!

  2. What I want is a tramp stamp. What I won’t get is a tramp stamp mostly because it’s called a tramp stamp. Mine will probably be a rose and a butterfly. Which sound really generic but actually have a meaning behind them. And they will probably be on my back but more to the side. That is, of course, when I get over this afraid of pain, chicken thing I have going on…. 🙂

  3. I have one tattoo on my lower leg (and I can honestly say I’ve never worn a house arrest ankle bracelet). It is a tribal heart with four stars…one for each of my babies (I’m planning to add to it now…for Little Bug).

  4. I have 3, all hideable under my clothes, for professional work and interviewing purposes, yet showable without being naked. 😉 First one was a shamrock with a red heart in the middle, about the size of a 50 cent piece, on my left hip. Second one was Eeyore on my right hip, located in a spot that I figured would not expand if/when I was pregnant again and I guessed correctly as it did not move when I was pregnant with Marjorie. The tattoo guy asked my why I was getting a jackass tattooed on my and I told him it was so I didn’t have to date anymore jackasses, this was right after a bad breakup. The third one is the blue and green Sobe lizards at the base of my spine. That one hurt like a mother when I was getting it done, I actually had to go throw up half way through the job.
    I will show you my tats if we ever meet. 😉 Now I KNOW that will make you venture to Wisconsin immediately.

  5. I have 6. I don’t love my armband, but ironically it’s the one that everyone else does love. Go figure. I have a professional job and when I was new there, I was worried about showing it. Not any more. One of the snobbier women always stares at it which makes me smile. I’m sure she is a tattoo virgin.

    I want one more – behind my right ear.

  6. Because I want to continue working in a professional environment, I feel it is important to be able to get them in places that can be easily covered up by work clothes. I have 2. One upper middle of my back of a dragonfly and the 2nd a horseshoe. I want a 3rd but I struggle with location. I do have specific requirements, though. Covered by clothing, and on a place that hopefully won’t sag too much when I’m old.

  7. OMG!

    – LOVE Stranger Than Fiction. I am so in love with Will Farrell and Maggie Gyllenhall in that movie. “I brought you flowers.” *swoon*

    – Seriously surprised by the lack of aging emo’s… Seriously, what, we hit 25 and forgot where to buy Manic Panic? Do they still make Manic Panic? Must find out…

    – Also in the “want a tattoo, but hubs vehemently anti-tattoo” club 😦

  8. I always swore I would get one for my 50th birthday. I am almost 53 and still don’t have one. The husband has to deal with tattooed dirtbags for a living and freaks out at the mere mention of me getting one.

    I had decided I was going to get a toe ring tattoo anyway, until I heard that they are hard to do and look like shit after a short time.

    So, maybe I will have to come up with something better for when I turn 60.

  9. I adore that movie. And Maggie looks so hawt with those tattoos. I’d love to get one on my lower back (to the side, not a tramp stamp) right in the one area that I don’t have stretch marks….mostly because I’d need to be able to hide it as needed. But until I know what I want for over a year, I won’t be getting one. It’s permanent. I need to LOVE it.

  10. I have 3 — one on my right shoulder, one on my left hip (that is never seen by anyone except my husband, myself and my doctor) and one on my lower back (in my defense, I had it before the term “tramp stamp” was coined). Each one holds great significance to me and I don’t regret them.

    I want another one but I’m still working on the details. It’s going to be a large piece that goes from my hip up my side to under my arm. I want it to have flowers on it to symbolize C and I, plus KT and the babies I lost through miscarriages.

    I’d love to have half sleeves as well.

  11. When I was a kid, my Daddy made me promise to never ever ever get a tattoo. He had 2; Mom’s name on his left bicep & his on the right. I could never figure out why people get their OWN names tattooed on themselves. Like, do they forget? Then they can just check their arm to help them remember?

    I’ve also turned DaBoy against them. His wife has a couple, but one time they were in Vegas, at a tatto parlor & he was looking through the books, the whole time he said he could hear my voice in his head saying, “please please please pronmise me that you’ll never get a tattoo”; he walked out as pristine as he went in.

    I’ve never really wanted one. I used to think, “Gee, I’d like a tattoo on my hip.” Then “Nah, gross. permanent. I’m too fat. the last thing I want is to draw attention to my buig-ass hips. pain. I’m going to get old someday & that’s just not cool.”

    I used to work with a girl who had the cutest little ring of daisies around her navel. Then she got pregnant. Holy shit, her tat looked like a sunflower!

  12. oh yes…and I’m dying for another one! Got it all planned out, even though one of the characters in Parenthood has something similar. Screw him! Mine will be way cooler and will have a DRAGON!

  13. I got my tattoo the summer of 2007. Still love it. It’s a tree, based on Gustav Klimt’s “Tree of Life” (Stoclet Frieze), with some Art-Nouveau-y roots I added in. It’s quite large — about 5″ in diameter, on the outside of my upper right thigh. I like having it there — it’s largely invisible, and the only people who would ever know I had it would be those that I wouldn’t mind seeing me in a swimsuit.

    The husband likes it too. He got his second tattoo at the same time, on the inside of his left forearm to match the one of the inside of his right.

  14. I have a tattoo, a colorful Chinese dragon with a yin-yang in one claw on my left anterior hip. It’s my china pattern – literally. I copied the Chinese dragons on my parents’ plates for the tattoo design; when my parents divorced, I got the plates. I had it done my senior year of college, not visible unless I want to show someone. It’s not in such a private place that it would be obscene for me to reveal it, but most people don’t know I have it. Although those low cut jeans can be a bit revealing…

    If I hadn’t gotten it then, I never would have. I don’t know that I regret it, but I’d never do it now. I am glad, however, that I didn’t get it in a place that’s readily visible. I would recommend that – especially for work – don’t get it in a place that would be easily seen with work clothes/suits on. Keep us posted as to what you decide to do…

  15. I’ve got one on my abdomen just to the right (my right) of my belly button. It’s a beautiful sun and moon done in black. I still love it even if I don’t go around flaunting it. I do want one on my lower back, but can’t decide on a design so not sure when that will happen. I also like the look of the half sleeve, but saw one on a mom last week that was dressed pretty much how I dress (tame) and it looked odd so I don’t know.

  16. I have 2… one under my right breast that is sunflowers covering a chest tube scar and then harmony, faith and love in chinese on my lower back. D does not want me to get any more. 🙂

  17. And doesn’t everyone know that c-sections don’t leave scars anymore?

    They just use the hidden zipper and ZIP. And the suction of pulling the baby out just POPS your stomach right back in. And since you only gain weight in your stomach to begin with – no one will ever be able to tell that you had a baby at all.

  18. I have four. Three on my back but low enough that any dress I would ever wear, they won’t show. One on my arm – my first one – back when I was young and had nice arms and loved to show them off. Now that I’m fat, I ALWAYS have sleeves so no one sees that one either.

    I only stopped getting more because BigP doesn’t like them. He has one – a drunken Navy experience that he regrets.

  19. No tattoo here. I’ve thought about it.

    My sister has one on her shoulder. As a lifeguard and swim instructor it is very noticeable. She has the ‘I don’t give a f**** what you think’ attitude that you need if you put it somewhere visible. I don’t have that attitude.

  20. Mostly I think tattoos are tacky. Very rarely do the design and the person and the execution etc. all go together cohesively to make something timelessly interesting/attractive.

  21. No tattoo, but I have always wanted one. And it’s mainly because of my SP, too, that I don’t have one. The one I’ve always wanted is a small one, though, over my hip bone so that it will likely never be seen by the general public. Kind of a “my secret tattoo.” I’ve been told getting a tattoo there will likely be very painful, so that’s the other reason I don’t have one.

    I wouldn’t get a tattoo in any place that had a high likelihood of “expanding” over the years. I would be too worried about how it would change the way the tattoo looked.

  22. I do have one, it’s on my left hip.

    I would NEVER want one where it was visible to everyone. Because no matter what you think the moment you get it, there MAY come a day when you wish you hadn’t done it, and if it’s covered by clothes, at least you don’t have to deal with it all the time.

    I don’t regret mine, but I wouldn’t do it over. At least I don’t have to cringe when I see it in photos or try to find clothing to cover it.

  23. I’m going to comment to remind you that I love you.

    I want to want to have a tattoo. No, that’s not repeated words. I would like to have the desire to have one if that makes more sense. And honestly, I would have a really hard time deciding what to get. I would not want it obvious. Subdued in color, like darker than I would ever tan. Design? The best I could come up with is a copy of E’s wedding ring. Because it has interlocking circles going all the way around the band. I think it’s pretty. And if he ever deploys again, I would always be able to see it. Location? No idea.

    One tattoo that I saw once that I really liked were baby footprints with little dates next to them to commemorate the woman’s kids. But considering the losses vs. successes that I have had, that would be more depressing.

    For your coworker…. my neighbor had a daisy done on her foot and a year later she hated it. Then she had the tattoo artist do all kinds of other stuff to it and now it looks just awful.

    I once heard a gay friend of mine say that if he tested POS for HIV he would get a biohazard symbol over his heart.

  24. No tattoos, no desire to have one. Don’t really even like the way they look. I don’t object to other people getting them, but they do nothing for me. It’s probably because I am covered with moles and freckles, so I am already totally marked up.

    Hope the bickering subsides…

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