The Graveyard of Dead Blogs

Remember how during the past couple of winters I had snow falling on my blog? It would seem that there needs to be a WP app that would have tumbleweeds occasionally drift and bounce by. It’s obvious that I really don’t know what I’m doing at this space. Let me elaborate: it’s obvious to ME that I don’t know what to do here anymore judging by my stats. Not that I care about that kind of drivel…pshaw.

When did I get to be such an awful blogger (and you can shut your pie-hole if you thought by responding, “You were never anything but!” that I would find that funny)? If what I’m feeling is what so many others who quit were feeling after they had a baby, they were smart to bow out gracefully while I choose to whimper and limp along.

Of course in some ways it’s wonderful that I’m so out of touch with what brought me here in the first place: infertility and miscarriage. But it also means that the community I loved and felt so much a part of has somehow slipped from my reach and there’s really been no niche I’ve felt comfortable in. When things were running at their peak, I never understood the appeal to lurking. But now? Oh, I totally get it. I also have a new appreciation for my son’s repeated lament to move back into the ‘burbs. It would be so much easier for me to transition into this new phase of my life: the one that means no more babies; the one that is bringing me at lightning speed to the half-century mark; the one where I’m trying to find a new career in a market that finds me past-my-prime; and one that I hate the most as far as physical appearances go.

I saw a facebook update by someone who also blogs that said, “I will not write just to have some filler during my off days and weeks, and if you’ve noticed MONTHS. I will write when the muse returns.”

This comes the day after I post something here without substance specifically to be a filler. Is filler necessary to keep myself out there or is it a detriment to you as a reader? Does it scream desperation or does it reassure you that yes, I’m still here – still alive? Is it better to blog of nothing every day or every other day or is it more interesting to see a post come up once a month – if that – that is filled with substance?

And most importantly, where do Blogs go to die?

16 thoughts on “The Graveyard of Dead Blogs”

  1. I have never read one of your posts and thought to myself, “that was just a filler post.”

    And FWIW, I hate it when IF bloggers stop blogging after they have their baby. I can understand fewer posts, but damn it, I invested my time during your struggles, I’d like to share in your win, too.

  2. just stop by any one of my old blogs and you’ll find where they go to die. I’m a crap blogger never pretended to be otherwise I post up a storm then wander away rinse repeat. you and others that have endured may not fit into the niche you originally landed yourself in, but you fit in a whole new niche *that of a smelly shoe* the been there done that and look there is life after x y z. Filler posts meh everyone does it it’s like faking it with the Mister sometimes you just don’t have the energy to go the whole distance.

    You may or may not have noticed I’m also a crap commenter but I think that’s really all part of my devil may care charm 🙂

  3. It’s all about whether or not it fulfills you, I guess. If it’s not making you happy, then maybe you shouldn’t do it. And during the summer, everyone’s stats fall. It’s always the way it goes for some reason.

  4. To me a blog post is like a little chat with a friend. Just kind of checking in to see what they’ve been up to. So I am of the mind that more posts are better. Sometimes when a blogger only posts what they consider a meaningful post, it ends up being more self-centered and navel gazing than usual. Instead of being moved, I find myself rolling my eyes. But that could just be me and my issues 🙂
    So you call it filler, I call it a legitimate post. I check in daily and am always happy to see a new post, regardless of content.

  5. I think we talked a little bit about this when you were visiting…how does one relate/sympathize to others when one is not having to be in that situation.

    I stumbled upon the IF community after I had been blogging for a while, so my perspective has always been that my blog is for me to journal whatever I want, readers or not. It is in the end my journal, my space. As yours should be. As anyones should be.

    I miss bloggers who don’t write anymore…I invested myself into them and now they are gone. But, I was merely a passerby who found their window. I am lucky to have even that glimpse into another person’s life. So I guess I cannot complain. 😉

  6. My blog has always been a tumbleweed zone.

    I think blogging is a bit like sex – better when you do it regularly, too much of a break makes you either less keen to get back in the fray or creates too much pressure to make it great.

    Filler or not I still check in.

  7. I was recently licking my wounds after losing another reader….then I realized it is my own fault.

    The only time I think of witty posts is when I don’t have time to write them. I don’t really fit in any particular blogging community. I WAS infertile, then I WASN’T. I WAS young and newly married, now I’m NOT. Etc, etc.

    I still read (or at least click over to) blogs that haven’t updated in a long time. I think the urge will come back and they will write again.

    You though, you have to write…even fluffy filler, just cuz we need you.

  8. My whole blog is filler for the last 6 months. Lately I have been trying to challenge myself and find filler that’s at least interesting (to me) to blog about (notice I did not say write – I’m not putting any effort into it and by saying blog instead of write I am distancing myself from anything that might embarrass me in a week or year. Just another way I guard myself. yay.)

    I wish my blog was anonymous and that I had never told anyone I had one, it would be so freeing. I like reading yours and it’s in my reader so whenever you post I’ll be reading. I rarely comment on blogs but I read a million of them. I often wonder if I should delete mine, just let it be, or??? But I hope no one else deletes theirs!! I love reading.

  9. I maintain that blogs are spaces for us to create whatever we want with them, and I would read you no matter what.

    But I also feel really strongly that there’s ROOM for our blogs in the IF community, even if we’ve moved past the infertility and miscarriage and are firmly entrenched in the no more babies half-century searching for a career in the midst of a crisis part. It’s PART of the community, the moving on and past IF. And it might give someone hope someday that when they’ve resolved their IF, they might move on as well.

    But I’m sentimental lately; having a hard time with the ones who’ve stopped writing.

    Or maybe I’m just trying to convince myself that to keep my OWN blog open is a good idea, too.


  10. Aw hell… I Called your son the wrong name… that’s what I get for commenting on blogs when I haven’t slept after working all night. Sorry Doodicious!

  11. I read every time you post… I just generally read while I’m at work through a blog reader and well I can’t comment through a blog reader. I want to know what’s going on even the good, the bad, or the ugly. This is your space it is what you make of it, just as my space is mine. So don’t hang up your hat. I love hearing about Aitch, Sparring Partner and Xboy. Hang in there and maybe we’ll be 80 and have blogs now wouldn’t that be cool 🙂

  12. I tried to get into the whole sharing of my emotion during difficult times thing, but that doesn’t really work for me. So mostly my blog is there to complain about things that irritate me, and relate information that I find interesting. It can sit there until I have something to say. You can post filler if you want to – if that’s what strikes you. I still feel a connection to the infertile community, and maintain that connection through commenting. My experience may still be valuable to someone. But, people change and evolve and grow – if their writings don’t, it’s probably not genuine. But then, I don’t put a whole lot of thought into blogging…

    Also, this:

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