Things Just Got Interesting

Last night I looked over my calendar and was happy to see that over two weeks had passed since my appointment when the doc biopsied a mole on the back of my leg. Happy because I was told that if something showed up, they would call me within two weeks. If all was clear, they would send me a letter but that probably wouldn’t get to me for almost three weeks.

In fact, I was going to post on facebook that the doc had created a divot in my leg for nothing. I should add to that by explaining that while I thought they had just scraped off a bit of the mole, I discovered after it finally started to heal up that they carved that fucker like a jack-o-latern. Yes, there is a divot in my leg. One could place a golf ball on the back of my ankle and tee off without a problem.

As you’ve probably already figured by now, the letter that should say the scribed tissue was normal will not come. Instead I got a phone call just this morning that went like this:

*annoying cell phone ring because there isn’t a normal one on my phone*

“This is Yo-yo Mama.” I answer this way in case it’s my future employer. Normally I would answer, “Whaddup, Bitch?”

“Yo-yo, this is Nurse Stoic at Dermatology’s clinic. Dr. Drapenscrape would like to see you to discuss the results of your biopsy.”

“So. I take it, it’s not good news.”

“Dr. Drapenscrape will go over the details with you. Will Thursday morning work for you?”

A decade of employment with the healthcare system combined with four years of negative beta calls from an RE clinic is enough experience to know that when a nurse calls to ask you to come in to speak to a doctor, that the news is not good. So as far as how bad things are? Well, I’ll know more Thursday.

The mole itself appears to be out, but has very small margins. Commonly, more cutting will be necessary. I might even get myself some KY jelly that’s been nuked by Chernobyl to smear on my divot. Maybe I can act really pathetic and get a script for medicinal merijewanna?

I’m sure that everything will be fine. No one ever dies of skin cancer, right?*

*The first person who tells me otherwise will be haunted by my divoted leg that is also spouting some very unsexy stubble as it’s pretty difficult to shave one side of a leg divot’s scab without running the razor into the other side.

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17 thoughts on “Things Just Got Interesting”

  1. Nah, no worries or negative stories here. I’ve got nothing but positive stories from my realm of folks I know (including my FIL, Dad, Uncle) that had the “bad” moles once upon a time. Nothing a little extra zapping and at most some “Mohs” surgery (go ahead, google it) will cure.

    Not that it will make you stress less. xo

  2. Actually I know two people who have had melanoma YEARS ago who underwent treatment and recovered beautifully and are extremely healthy and happy people now. Not to be all “this will be melanoma” but no matter what it is, you absolutely will be fine. On a side note, my grandfather has had MANY cancerous skin lesions removed over the last 15 years and is just fine also. I very much hope it’s nothing at all.

  3. Ack. That sucks. Although maybe it’s not bad. Maybe he’s calling you in to tell you he made a mistake and removed the wrong mole hence owes you a hefty malpractice settlement which will support you so lavishly that you’ll laugh at the idea of ever working fulltime again. Anyway… keeping my fingers crossed for you.

  4. My mother in law had a melanoma quite a few years ago. She has a rather awful scar on one arm from where they removed a huge chunk of cancer, but it’s been like, 20 years since she had it removed and I swear the woman is more active than me!

    Best of luck!

  5. Not what you needed, ugh. I do know two people who have had melanoma and come out on the other side not too much worse for the wear – I really hope you don’t have to go through that, but if you do I know you’re a fighter and you’ll come out the same way. Happy and healthy.

  6. Sorry it wasn’t an easy ‘all clear’ letter. The two people I know who have gotten the ‘call to come in’ regarding mole removal are both doing well. In fact one is nearing 90 and the other is blissfully going into her 70’s.

    Thursday will be here before ya know it…

  7. I’m sorry you got the call and not the letter. I’ll be thinking of you on Thursday – please let us know what you find out.

    PS – divots are hot!

  8. People who are going to die from skin cancer get appointments more quickly than Thursday (plus 2 weeks).

    Hoping that you just have to get a lightly larger divot. Much luck…

  9. Hopefully it’s just news along the lines of we found some stuff but we got it out here’s what to do to stop it being a problem in the future. Sorry it wasn’t the letter.

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