I hate this plant. I don’t even know what kind it is. It sits in the corner of the room by the sliding deck doors. It always seems to have yellow and dying leaves. I haven’t repotted it since I got it so the soil is poor. Whenever I water it just a little, it sieves right through and leaks out onto the floor.

It doesn’t flower. I hardly can tell it grows except I did take a cutting and plant it, with success. The cutting rooted and was potted and sits on a side table away from its parent plant. It seems a bit healthier, but it hardly catches my attention when I walk by it a half dozen times a day, every day.

Every once in a while, I’ll turn it so it can readjust its lean towards the sun. But other than that and watering it once every couple of weeks (if it’s lucky), I ignore it. I – as I said initially – hate it.

So why do I keep it? Why not just pitch it out into the field in my backyard and see if the deer will enjoy it?

Why not, indeed.

It’s the plant that welcomed me home from my first D&C five years and eleven months ago.

It represents death, sorrow, loss. It lives with little care or attention from me. Which may be why I despise it all the more.

I am the face of Miscarriage, of Stillbirth, of Infant Loss.


9 thoughts on “Uprooted”

  1. I am exactly the opposite. I was devastated when my split leaf philodendron died. I did everything I could to keep it alive….then found out my old sick cat was peeing in it. The plant was my mom’s and I have photos of me as a toddler with the plant near me, so tall it started to crawl across the ceiling when it couldn’t go “up” an further.

    I usually don’t have trouble getting rid of the things that bring bad memories. The things that bring good feelings/memories are the things I can’t part with. (coming up….an episode of hoarders from my house…)

  2. would it be derranged to say if you lived around the corner I’d want you to be my BFF?


    PS – we’re on the same page… ❤

You can say it here.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s