Three Ways of Being Felt Up

I got to do something fun last week: I got a pap smear.

I know! Aren’t you jealous?

Actually, this is a big deal because it’s the first time I’ve set foot in my gynecologist’s office since my six week postnatal appointment, which was August 2008. And while that doesn’t seem that long ago, let me add that the last gyn appointment that I had that included skipping first base and hitting second and third, was when we decided to go with a donor egg IVF cycle. My RE had required it since I would be 40 at the time of the transfer.

Obviously then, it has been a while.

I decided to see the PA at the office since the OBGYN is usually booked weeks out. This was the same PA who was instrumental in our first pregnancy. In giving us advise, obviously!

My love for my PA was only strengthened when we actually took 45 minutes to just talk and catch up on our lives. Who does that, right?? I then had to ruin the mood by telling her about the weird thing going on down under, my cancer, and of course loss of job and asking where I could get a film mammogram since it seems everyone has gone digital (which can run almost five times the cost). And with  that, we got on with the exams.

I learned two things from that experience: 1) apparently yes, I do still have a hemorrhoid that wasn’t caught during my pregnancy since I was a repeat c-section, and 2) rectal exams are standard for the over-40 crowd.

Thank god she didn’t warn me about the latter until the moment before; however I’m sure she was somewhat glad I had warned her about the possible ‘roid. If I could hear the non-stress fetal testing going on in the next room, I’m sure that patient would have heard the quick horrified shriek from my PA.

Hoping now that my malignant melanoma doesn’t end up being a harbinger of more bad medical news in 2011.

6 thoughts on “Three Ways of Being Felt Up”

  1. On the mammogram front – I think… key word think that there’s usually a way you can get a free one in October. A lot of hospitals help out in October for Breast Cancer Awareness month kind of thing. At least they do in Michigan. I will send up some hope that things in 2011 are much better than 2010. For all of us. Hang in there!

  2. I don’t think I would want too much advance notice of the violations either…

    Hope everything comes back normal.

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