My Doppelganger

About a year ago I told you about another Yo-yo Mama who was erroneously using my email (yoyo.mama@somemailforum) as her own. She used it to sign up for a Red Box and a skateboard website; I was sent an invoice from her CPA for doing her taxes; I was asked to schedule a conference call; she used it at her school.

And that was the straw.

A little over a week I received an email from a name I didn’t recognize and it was copied to one other person. Attached to the email was a word document with 16 names, addresses, phone numbers and email addresses. Of course I knew that the email and its attachment weren’t meant for me, but for the Other Yo-yo Mama (OYYM).

I replied to all: “Tell OYYM that she gave you the wrong email,” and went on with my life.

A couple of days later, my inbox had the start of an email thread from one of the people on the document (not in the original email). It was a reminder about the class party at the school and who was bringing what and what was still needed and who would like to volunteer to bring suchandsuch.

And I got pissed.

OYYM has been using the wrong email now for over a year and a half now. I have contacted her on more than one occasion informing her of such, so it’s not like she was ignorant to the problem. My first reaction was to reply to the thread and say I would bring the items they were still missing for Ms. Q’s St. Paddy’s Party and then of course, since OYYM didn’t GET this email, she would show up sans those items and her peers would be all, “What the heck, OYYM! You said you’d bring that crap!”

I realized that just wasn’t going to satisfy the raging bitch in my head. I entertained the thought of friending all the people on the word document (which was actually a list of all the parents in Ms. Q’s class – including their child’s name. Yeeeaaaahhh.). Of course, they would accept my friend request because I’m OYYM, right? Who knows where I could go with that (and still could…).

A friend on facebook suggested I sign everyone up for updates on the Tupperware website. That suggestion combined with my penchant for stirring shit gave me the idea that ended up implemented: I replied to all on the thread (which ended up being ALL the moms in the class AND Ms. Q with something like this (paraphrased to evade possible googling by The Punked):

Looking forward to the party! I’m going to have my friend who’s a dwarf dress up for the party and surprise the kids! Bonus! He’s a stripper and will be at my house for a party I’m having later. Bring your dollar bills and beer hat!

That reply was sent just before I went to bed. By the next morning, I already had a response. Probably due to the fact that OYYM lives on the east coast. The reply? It was from the school’s principal.

I nearly crapped my pants.

She had also replied to all with an apology for the inappropriate email I – excuse me, OYYM – had sent. I was actually feeling pretty humiliated for a bit until I reminded myself they had no idea who I was. After my heart stopped pounding out of my chest, I did reply to the principal to let her know that I was not OYYM even though our names are the same, and that I hoped that this would forever stop the emails being sent to me in error.

All day I obsessively checked my email thinking I should hear back from the principal with yet another apology for the confusion, or maybe even from one of the parents asking OYYM, “What the fuck were you thinking??”, but there was nothing by the time I went to bed. The next day? Nothing. And the next day? Nothing still.

A rather anti-climactic finish to what could have seriously turned into a major clusterfuck of cyber-hairpulling and finger-pointing. Basically mayhem. I guess my original plan of getting her out of my life worked.

Dagnabit. My foray into wreaking my evil havoc ended up like letting air out of a balloon. An initial crazy, erratic ups and downs and then a pathetic and final pffffffttttttt-t-t—-t.