My Doppelganger

About a year ago I told you about another Yo-yo Mama who was erroneously using my email (yoyo.mama@somemailforum) as her own. She used it to sign up for a Red Box and a skateboard website; I was sent an invoice from her CPA for doing her taxes; I was asked to schedule a conference call; she used it at her school.

And that was the straw.

A little over a week I received an email from a name I didn’t recognize and it was copied to one other person. Attached to the email was a word document with 16 names, addresses, phone numbers and email addresses. Of course I knew that the email and its attachment weren’t meant for me, but for the Other Yo-yo Mama (OYYM).

I replied to all: “Tell OYYM that she gave you the wrong email,” and went on with my life.

A couple of days later, my inbox had the start of an email thread from one of the people on the document (not in the original email). It was a reminder about the class party at the school and who was bringing what and what was still needed and who would like to volunteer to bring suchandsuch.

And I got pissed.

OYYM has been using the wrong email now for over a year and a half now. I have contacted her on more than one occasion informing her of such, so it’s not like she was ignorant to the problem. My first reaction was to reply to the thread and say I would bring the items they were still missing for Ms. Q’s St. Paddy’s Party and then of course, since OYYM didn’t GET this email, she would show up sans those items and her peers would be all, “What the heck, OYYM! You said you’d bring that crap!”

I realized that just wasn’t going to satisfy the raging bitch in my head. I entertained the thought of friending all the people on the word document (which was actually a list of all the parents in Ms. Q’s class – including their child’s name. Yeeeaaaahhh.). Of course, they would accept my friend request because I’m OYYM, right? Who knows where I could go with that (and still could…).

A friend on facebook suggested I sign everyone up for updates on the Tupperware website. That suggestion combined with my penchant for stirring shit gave me the idea that ended up implemented: I replied to all on the thread (which ended up being ALL the moms in the class AND Ms. Q with something like this (paraphrased to evade possible googling by The Punked):

Looking forward to the party! I’m going to have my friend who’s a dwarf dress up for the party and surprise the kids! Bonus! He’s a stripper and will be at my house for a party I’m having later. Bring your dollar bills and beer hat!

That reply was sent just before I went to bed. By the next morning, I already had a response. Probably due to the fact that OYYM lives on the east coast. The reply? It was from the school’s principal.

I nearly crapped my pants.

She had also replied to all with an apology for the inappropriate email I – excuse me, OYYM – had sent. I was actually feeling pretty humiliated for a bit until I reminded myself they had no idea who I was. After my heart stopped pounding out of my chest, I did reply to the principal to let her know that I was not OYYM even though our names are the same, and that I hoped that this would forever stop the emails being sent to me in error.

All day I obsessively checked my email thinking I should hear back from the principal with yet another apology for the confusion, or maybe even from one of the parents asking OYYM, “What the fuck were you thinking??”, but there was nothing by the time I went to bed. The next day? Nothing. And the next day? Nothing still.

A rather anti-climactic finish to what could have seriously turned into a major clusterfuck of cyber-hairpulling and finger-pointing. Basically mayhem. I guess my original plan of getting her out of my life worked.

Dagnabit. My foray into wreaking my evil havoc ended up like letting air out of a balloon. An initial crazy, erratic ups and downs and then a pathetic and final pffffffttttttt-t-t—-t.

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12 thoughts on “My Doppelganger”

  1. I have a common name, and being the nerd that I am, managed to snag my firstname.lastname@gmail.com. Yeah. Stupidest idea EVER.

    I am up to 14 serious repeat offenders (meaning, 14 different “me”s out there who regularly mistake my address for their own, either while signing up for junk mail or legitimately), and closer to 30 or 40 that have happened just once.

    I save the email addresses of their husbands/parents/coworkers and email them regularly. I’m constantly logging into their accounts and changing the passwords, because if I delete them? THEY JUST SIGN UP AGAIN.

    Most are totally nice about it, even though it keeps happening. Two of them, though, I’d like to strangle. One’s a lady in the UK who buys airplane tickets with my email, and signs up for some new junk mail about once a week. The other is a woman in North Carolina who works for a cell phone manufacturer. She put my email address into their escalation system, so every time a customer is REALLY pissed off, I get an email about it with their CREDIT CARD INFO. For real.

    There’s also some woman in Pittsburgh who plays for an orchestra, I’ve never figured out her real address. I get a lot of requests about playing events or teaching music classes.

    Okay, my venting is over. I have a Other My Name folder, with a ton of subfolders in it, so I can track down the person through their friends and tell them to stop being a moron whenever they repeat offend.

    Thanks, mom, for my awesome name.

  2. I have been pondering this dilemma. What I really can’t understand is how someone can email something to THEMSELVES and never wonder why they didn’t get it.

    Sounds like her job is ripe for a takeover by the one, the ONLY Yo-Yo Ma. Her employers must be less than thrilled with her “intelligence”.

    I think she needed the wake-up call. Seriously.

  3. that. is. hilarious! and–it worked. it finally got OYYM to fork over her actual email address to her contacts. win-win.

  4. I definitely think you should still consider signing OYYM and the others up for lots of daily emails.

    I guess once the principal realized the mistake she made sure you didn’t receive any more correspondences but I still don’t understand why you haven’t heard from OYYM? That is what is most odd to me.

    Which would prompt me to continue messing with her…

  5. HA! I have always loved dwarf strippers and frequently offer the services of a midget named Slim whenever anyone mentions a child’s class party, or any party for that matter!

    So was the email address mix-up a typo on her part? Or do you think she’s just that stupid?

    1. Lazy AND stupid, possibly since her email is yoyo.mama123@mail; not yoyo.mama@mail. It’s not the people she gives it to that are screwing up either. She has emailed herself from her work email incorrectly! That’s how I know where she works.

  6. I would have thought that some of the parents would have been concerned enough that their personal information was given to a complete stranger–especially only that would send an email about a dwarf stripper. It’s strange there has been nothing since and I have to say I was looking forward to hearing about the fallout to OYYM because of the email.

    Think she finally wised up and figured out how to remember her own email address?

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