These past few days since accepting the job offer, I’ve had to remind myself frequently that the adjustment I’m trying to prepare ourselves for isn’t that much of an adjustment when it comes to the overall picture. While I did lose my job almost two and a half years ago, I’ve only been home full-time since January.
But in the smaller, cynical picture, I can’t help but worry about losing this quality time with Aitch and Doodicus. What makes it a bit easier is that Aitch has been going to the daycare for a couple hours a day while I worked out and ran some errands. Doodicus will be done with school on Wednesday, so I won’t be stressing about his schoolwork (if only for the next three months). He’s very excited about going back to daycare full-time, and I have to admit, him being at daycare will provide him more activities than being at home with me who doesn’t like to do battle over how much time he needs to spend outside, or actually anything but playing TV and video games.
Related: the other day I “made” him come outside while I planted some flowers with Aitch. A wasp happened to be nearby and Dood nearly pooped his pants. I may have told him to suck it up. A post for another day.
I’m sure that my nervousness has a lot to do with the fact that this isn’t like me going back to work after maternity leave, it’s because I’m going back to work at a completely new job at a position I’ve never had. What if I hate it? What if they hate me??
Other worry-inducing changes are minor, if not petty. I didn’t even bother working out this week because I won’t be able to once I go back to work. Until we get Aitch onto a new schedule, I’ll be out of the house before she even wakes up. Half hour lunch breaks means endless sack lunches and no more lunch-dates with Sparring Partner. The projects I had lined up with remain just that: projects. The house will revert into a pig sty that I will have to spend my weekends cleaning. And I’ll miss my friends’ updates on Facebook and their blogs.
See? Stupid and petty worries. These are normal, right? I keep reminding myself that I’ll feel productive once again. I won’t have to justify every bank account transaction. Lastly, and probably the most importantly, we’ll finally have health insurance coverage…correction: Aitch, Doodicus and Sparring Partner will have health coverage. I, on the other hand, will have some coverage, but I may have to wait at least 18 months for the pre-existing term to pass before I get the coverage I really need.
Monday is my first day.