Happy Pills

It’s hard to believe that I thought my mood was related to my thyroid, isn’t it? I’m a little slow on the uptake. I think I’ve known for a long time that I’m dealing with depression, but I’ve always excused my mood to not having a job or Doodicus’s ADHD or my mother’s health or my cancer or my weight…

And no one called “bullshit!”? I need a couple of trolls.

It’s been almost three weeks since I did have my thyroid checked and aside from a couple elevated levels that indicated possibly allergies (AAAAHHH-choo!), I’m normal, relatively speaking. So I’ve been avoiding going back in to discuss the likely culprit because I worry that starting on antidepressants WON’T be the magic bullet. I remember a few years ago shortly after my first miscarriage I went to see my then family practitioner who gave me two weeks of AD pills. I took the first few days-worth but felt they were making me craz(ier) so I stopped.

Sidenote: I stopped seeing that practitioner when he all but patted me on the knee while telling me God had a plan with that 15 week miscarriage. If the “Plan” was to make me find a physician who was not interested in praying for my cursed soul, then it worked.

Now I need to ask, what should I REALLY expect when/if I start ADs? Will I turn foggy? If it makes me feel less sad, will it also make me less happy? Will I gain (more) weight? Will it decrease my sex-drive? Oh, wait. Nevermind on that last question. One can’t have a NEGATIVE sex drive, can they?