The Other Half Needs an Ass-Kicking

I have to vent or I’ll not be responsible for bludgeoning my husband with this laptop…

If you have a child with ADHD, you know that sleep is an anomaly. They DON’T sleep well, especially when on any kind of drug regimen. While Doodicus heads to bed at 9:00 p.m., it’s not unusual to find him still awake by 10:00 p.m. And then he’ll be awake by 5:00 a.m. It’s not all the time, I’m just saying it’s not unusual. AND I GET THAT. It’s just how his brain functions.

Tonight, after Sparring Partner tucked Dood in, SP sat down next to me and told me he was talking to Dood and the Olympians getting up at 3 – 4:00 in the morning, every morning, just to train. Dood told him that sometimes he wakes up then, too. SP then said, “You need to tell your body to go back to sleep!”

I listened to this slack-jawed. “That just tells me you haven’t got a clue how his ADHD affects him. You aren’t listening to me. You aren’t listening to him. You don’t read the articles I send you about ADHD. You. Don’t. Get. It!

…so I’m sitting here steaming, watching the Olympics.

He then asks, “What do you think the temperature of the pool water is?”

I shrugged, disinterested.

He immediately flips open the iPad to google it.

He doesn’t want to use the resources available to him to understand how ADHD affects not just Doodicus, but our whole family dynamic, but he’ll look up the fucking temperature of the fucking pool water!

Don’t be surprised by tomorrow’s headlines, “Ritual Killing? Man Found in Quiet Nebraska Rural Community Strangled by USB Cable: iPad Duct-Taped to Genitals”.

P.S. By the time I finished writing this, I’m not as furious. Just fuming.

4 thoughts on “The Other Half Needs an Ass-Kicking”

  1. I’m going to agree with A. here on the whole different parenting styles thing. While I think he should make an effort to learn about ADHD (which is HARD if he has it too. And was raised old fashioned when there was no condition, just a hearty “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU BOY?”) He may have been made to feel inferior, and you tend to parent how you were parented to an extent.

    The hubs and I have very different parenting styles, and sometimes, while it’s frustrating that he doesn’t do it MY WAY (anxiety, ADD, depression = OCD and need for control. Not because I’m selfish, but because it makes me less anxious). And when we were going through everything with the Mini, EVERYONE (including the hubs) was like, “just wait and see, there’s nothing wrong. But I knew. My mother’s intuition told me otherwise. There are some treatments I wanted to just go for, but couldn’t, and he balanced me on that. He was able to calm me enough to say “we have no choice but to wait.” I often didn’t like the answer. Sometimes he made me mad, even if he was just the messenger. And now, again, we’re going through it with LG. One step at a time, even though my M.O. is to go balls to the wall and do it all at once. And again, he’s like “we’re doing what we can now, let’s take it one step at a time.”

    All of this while deferring to my ultimate judgement on what to do. So, maybe SP thinks that you’ve got it all under control. Maybe try taking him to the doctor with you and having him listen to Dood’s Drs himself. Sometimes having someone outside of the situation tell the other parent also helps. Again, balance, but also tell him flat out “It really upsets me that you haven’t read the information I’ve given you about Dood. And if we work together, we can really help him succeed.”

    Psychological bullshit, yes, but EFFECTIVE psychological bullshit.

  2. I’m sorry Dawn. What is it with men that they can’t believe or trust anything you say unless they verify it themselves or hear it from a Hooters waitress? I think it’s a penis thing – thank good we don’t have them.

  3. I don’t know anything about ADHD, so feel free to ignore me. But I’m going to come to SP’s defense a little – it’s good to have different parenting styles. You never really know what’s going to stick with a kid…any kid. (Not excusing his apparent lack of knowledge – just saying, try anything. And what you might have tried in the past would sound totally different when it comes from your husband.)

You can say it here.

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