I can’t believe no one took the opportunity to call me paranoid.

I am just being paranoid about my kid getting some girl pregnant out of wedlock and the house going up in flames, right??


The Corporate Office gave each satellite office surveys to hand out to their patients. Any comments shared on the surveys were released recently, and all were positive. Except this one: “The financial person was not nice. Superficially she was, but not really.”

I was especially wounded by this statement because of course I am that “financial person” (who probably also ensured their insurance company processed their claim appropriately. Asshole.). I don’t get it. Is that a legitimate complaint? Sure, I probably was being superficially nice because technically, that is part of my job. I wasn’t mean, per se, but maybe s/he didn’t like the fact I didn’t offer to call him/her up for lunch? Or that I didn’t flash some boob?? It would have made just as much sense if they had written: “The financial person was rude. Superficially she was not, but was really.” It just feels, oh I don’t know….Schizo.


Speaking of not being nice, I was on the deck last night huddled over my cell phone and on Facebook. The atmosphere was perfect because there was a warm breeze keeping away mosquitoes and the kids were bed. Sparring Partner came out to say good-night before he left to see his dad in the nursing home. Fifteen minutes later I decided to head inside and discovered he had locked me out on the deck.

I was pissed and dialed his number as I walked around the porch and to the garage. I told him to come home and let me back in the house and explained why. He swore that he did not lock me out of the house, and in fact had double-checked to make sure he hadn’t locked the patio door when he went back inside. Since the garage doors were down and locked, too, I went all the way back around the house to the aforementioned-unlocked deck door and confirmed with another tug and with a visual, that yes, he had indeed locked me out of the house.

I ended up walking back around again (tell me again why the hell we have a sprawling ranch house and that I am fat and too-out-of-shape-for-this-shit) to the garage and used the keypad to get in (I’ve never used it and the last I heard, the battery had died in it). SP was still adamant that he had not locked me out of the house, to which I replied, “So you’re saying that between the time you left the house and the time I tried to get back in, Doodicus woke up, realized I was outside, that you were gone, and locked the door on me??”

He thought THAT was more plausible then him simply subconsciously locking the door behind him.

I was definitely NOT nice, not even superficially.

6 thoughts on “Superficial”

  1. I don’t know about the comment. Can you really be expected to be more than superficially polite to someone? This seems like an unusual behavioral standard. Is it true that you must have feelings of genuine affection for everyone that you meet? Can your employer expect more than polite efficiency? Is this an American thing?

    1. Exactly! I am polite and efficient, but for this person, for whatever reason, that was not enough. I was not “genuinely affectionate” and I think that’s over-reaching when they may have spent five, maybe ten minutes, max with me. Description of “superficially nice” is how you sum up a blind date.

  2. I think all parents are paranoid. I’m constantly thinking about how I’d get us all out of the car if it rolled over. It’s part of the job.

    And I totally agree with A. People can tell when I don’t like them, even if I’m polite and sweet as can be. I guess I give off a vibe. So while I understand your feelings being hurt, I don’t think the sentence is that wacky.

    1. But how is it constructive to me as an employee of a corporation? That’s the part that doesn’t make sense. I don’t know these people. I was obviously not rude or they would have said so. I was “superficially” nice, but aren’t we all ( or at least SHOULD be) with strangers? The Target clerk doesn’t give me hugs, and I see her several times a week. Should I write Target and complain about it? What was this person’s expectation? To me, this is someone who had nothing bad to say but couldn’t waste the SASE.

  3. Yeah, I call that a healthy fear, not paranoia.

    I could totally see how your true feelings about idiots might come through accidentally…even if you’re still polite. Sometimes it’s really hard not to let people know you think they’re stupid.

    In our house, we call that the water heater monster. My husband turned down my water heater at my old condo once. I yelled at him, but never touched it…and somehow it got turned back up. So, while we were screaming at each other about it, he said “Well, who turned it up? Oh, I know – it was the water heater monster!” So now, every time something happens for which I deny responsibility, and my jackass doesn’t believe me, the water heater monster did it.

  4. Oh, I fret about my sons getting girls pregnant all the time, and about the house being on fire (or burgled) and not being able to save everyone. So if you’re paranoid, I’m paranoid, and I’M NOT PARANOID IT COULD REALLY HAPPEN UNLESS I WORRY ABOUT IT, SHUT UP.

    I would be very cheesed and hurt by that evaluation of niceness.

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