Imagine this level of Crazy in YOUR home.
Imagine this level of Crazy in YOUR home.

Even though I’ve known his collection was extensive, I just found out that my FIL owned approximately 240 firearms.


And now five children will split that collection between themselves. That’s just shy of 50 each, including to my husband, Sparring Partner. I’m furious.

Would you believe that S.P. thought I would be less angry if he told me that he had no intention of keeping them all? He’d sell most of them. This coming from the man who still has his sibling’s Christmas presents sitting on his desk waiting to be sent out…from LAST year. This coming from the man who hasn’t finished insulating his shop that he built seven years ago and yet recently informed me that he’s ADDING on to it this year (over my goddamn dead body, he is! (which if he gets 50 guns, he increases his opportunities and odds)). This coming from the man who adamantly refuses to let the kids have a trampoline because of how dangerous they are.

I should mention that since he told me all of this about an hour ago, which immediately preceded me telling him that he’s fucking crazy if he thinks he’s bringing any of those guns into our house, he’s been trying to draw me into some small chat about Doodicus’s homework; the night sky; and now just a moment ago, a rerun of Frasier. Does he really think he can baffle me with bullshit?

(Image courtesy of The Guardian.)

16 thoughts on “240”

  1. Completely understand your frustration – that’s not a small collection, and with the kids, that’s DEFINITELY something you need to be safe.

    Alternately, we’re shopping handguns, and know several gun enthusiasts who may be interested, if you’d like to assist SP in liquidating his portion of the collection.

  2. I hate guns. Ugh. So sorry. My grandfather left lots of guns (I think dozens rather than hundreds) and my mother is having a helluva time getting rid of them. She was so desperate actually asked me, who lives in another country, if I wanted to take the antique hunting rifles off her hands. UM NO THANKS. Good luck. If they never enter your house, then you don’t have to worry about when they are exiting your house.

  3. Holy Guacamole. I’m with you, no f’ing way those would come to my house. I think the commenters have had some good ideas. Like the contacting the ATF or a gun dealer to sell them. Why the hell would anyone have that many guns? Were they in safes? Were these just laying around? I just don’t understand I guess. Man, insane in the membrane….

  4. While I don’t believe my FIL’s “collection” is that extensive I understand. DH and I have already talked about what’s going to happen when FIL passes because of this issue. We do have guns in our house as DH is a law enforcement officer and my father was an avid hunter. We also have a gun safe. Since neither of those things apply in your case I would imagine keeping one for posterity and having it in a gun safe would be reasonable and selling the rest. However it gets a little squirrelly – how are they planning on dividing all those guns up? I like the look of that one, no I want that pretty one, etc. It sounds like those guns need to be appraised and then fairly divided. Just my 2 cents.

    1. Currently the collection is being stored in a number of safes and SP said he would have them IN a safe if they were here. However, to me that doesn’t matter. I don’t want them in the house, under any circumstances, even under lock and key. It’s too tempting.

  5. If there is no amunition they are just empty guns sitting in a box. They can’t harm anyone and can’t do anything just sitting in a box. (I’m not sure this makes you feel better about it but I’m just saying….)

  6. Seriously call your closest ATF office for advice. That is a huge number of guns and you may be sitting on a legal nightmare.
    How are the sibs going to decide who gets what? Someone could end up with the mother-load of the ones that are really valuable considering their age and type etc. I agree with the above commenter about selling/auctioning the whole lot and splitting the cash. It will be a large number I will tell you that. Hubby has bought/sold many guns with this law enforcement buddies and they are freaking expensive.

    1. One of the daughters’ husbands suggested he take the entire collection and while I don’t want ANY of it, his “offer” was not selfless. He knows an immense collection is worth more than one that’s been divided.

      I have no idea how they plan on splitting it up. I would prefer it all to be sold off and then they split that up, however I can’t help but be disgusted with the thought all those guns still out there for someone else to either abuse or get stolen.

      I’ve had a chance to briefly look at the ATF’s website, but I’ll be doing more research. Thanks to you and the others for the suggestion. I didn’t even know it existed (http://www.atf.gov/content/Firearms/firearms-industry)

  7. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to own 40 let alone 240. And all I can think about is that time the gun went off accidentally and shot a hole over Dood’s head in the next room.

    Maybe the siblings can all agree to have the collection sold (maybe easier to sell that way?!?) and split the money instead of the guns.

  8. And it’s a lot harder to sell guns privately than you would think, unless you already have a buyer in mind. Once upon a time, my husband listed one on Craigslist and the post was deleted, because you can’t do that on their website. He’d be better off using a dealer or an auctioneer…which, in the long run, is probably going to be easier on you.

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