Category Archives: Fertile Fudgery (Herzn)

No. 194 – Fertiles Say the Darndest Things

We attended a BBQ Friday nite at the house of a couple Mr. DD and I met a couple years ago and became friends with. They are sickeningly sweet and wholesomely Christian: he is a podiatrist (Dr. SSWC) and she is a substitute teacher (Mrs. SSWC) and they have 4 children, with their youngest (Ooopsie) the age Vivienne would be (I remember going to a fund raiser in October 2004 where we both talked about how miserable we were in our pregnancies) and their 2nd youngest is a year younger than X.

Mr. DD and I have been quite frank to those who ask, including the SSWCs why we don’t have more children: his guys are lazy and my eggs are rotten and we’re seeking professional assistance. They also knew about our miscarriage fairly soon after it happened.

I wasn’t too surprised then when Mrs. SSWC asked me about how things were going. I gave her the synopsis of the past several months and said we were done with the RE in The Metro. She then of course asked the inevitable haveyouthoughtofadoption question, to which I explained Mr. DD’s concerns with adoption, which include potential medical conditions that wouldn’t become evident until later in life. She responded the same way I had to this concern and that is no baby comes with a guarantee, even if it’s biological. For example, if Vivienne had been born alive, she would have been severely handicapped and it would’ve not been because of something we had passed on, but due to a completely random genetic flaw. Does that make a difference in how one loves a child? It shouldn’t…and to me, it wouldn’t.

She then told me how before they had Ooopsie, they had also considered international adoption, preferably “oriental, because…oh, my god, those eyes are so cute!” She then went on to say how expensive it all is and that Dr. SSWC expressed that they shouldn’t then have to travel overseas for weeks at a time and that they should deliver the child to their home for that kind of money.

Yep. That’s what she said. To which I replied:

“This isn’t Pizza Hut!”

“Oh, (ha-ha) I know! And I guess it doesn’t matter since we got pregnant about that time with Ooopsie. (ha-ha).”

And, yes, I kept listening to her. I’ve heard of Fertiles saying stupid things, but I’ve never actually heard one saying it. It was like hearing the call of a legendary and extinct Do-Do bird.

Then she talked about her sister, who at the age of 32 gave birth to identical twin boys who have

Downs

and are currently 9 mos. old. Mrs. SSWC asked her sister if she was going to have more children. The sister explained that her doctor told her that her eggs were old and proceeded to educate her sister, Mrs. SSWC (the wife of a man who went to medical school) that you are born with all the eggs you have in your lifetime and that you cannot make more. Mrs. SSWC asked if had known that, and isn’t that crazy?!

Another woman, who was invited to the BBQ scoffed at the announcement and said if she’s only 32, her eggs should not be “old”. I injected with a brief explanation of FSH and atypical elevations can and do occur with women in their 30’s and even their 20’s (using my experience and powers of Google for Good, not Evil!).

Eventually the topic was changed and the words evaporated into the night air. I still very much like Mrs. SSWC and will foster the friendship. Do I think less of her? No, not really. She said some pretty ignorant things, but there was no malice in her comments. They were said under the illusion of how she thought things were. I’m glad she said something because if she goes away with just a little more understanding then I know that something good will come of it

Gone FSHing

I’m jonesing for some time in the stirrups and some probing with something cold, so I have made an appointment tomorrow afternoon with my OB’s office. I requested my appointment not be with OB, but with his PA. PA is this very sweet, kind girl who I have discovered has some magic to her. Each time I have had an appointment with her, I get pregnant, except for the recent pregnancy via IVF.

I have made the appointment under the guise of an annual exam. I haven’t had one since August 2004, which was shortly before I conceived Baby May. But my motive has several levels. First: I’m just hoping for good luck to continue. Secondly: the RE clinic has only tested my FSH once and that was this past July. I think I would like to know what has happened to my levels since then, which were still within “normal” range at 9.6 on CD3 (under 11 is preferred). Thirdly: I suspect her little boy was a product of ART because I saw his picture at my RE’s clinic amongst all the other little miracles tucked in photo albums and pinned to the board. If so, I will see what she really thinks my chances are.

And just a short semi-related side note: I understand that being in my late 30’s does reduce our chances of pregnancy somewhat. It’s biology and there’s just no arguing with that. HOWEVER, what I want to know then is WHY the hell do I still have enough raging hormones to make my skin take on the appearance of a 15 year old??!! And NOOooo, I’m not talking about a smooth forehead and firm, plump cheekbones. I’m talking about zit-city! Man, this sucks. Makeup just doesn’t look good over a pimple that is nestled in a wrinkle, ya know? Especially since the effects of the botox have officially ran their course and it’s time for another treatment.

I just can’t seem to catch a break.

Spring Cleaning

First, let me say Thank You to all of you who left your comments in response to the Memoriam. I am humbled and most appreciative.

So now that I now have figuratively finished the spring cleaning of my heart, other areas of neglect are also due for some attention.

Last week I was told my the RE’s clinic that I couldn’t start the pill until I had my period. If my period did not arrive on said date, even though I was already on day 36 of my cycle, they would prescribe me provera. I would have to wait until my period started and that I had a good, heavy flow to make sure "things got cleaned out really good."

Uh…’scuse me?

I didn’t realize that my uterus was in need of a dusting, otherwise I would have looked into getting a Woomba a little earlier as they are on back-order due to the holidays. Now I have to find one of those spider vacs or settle for a Swif.fer. I know that the old ute hasn’t experienced much activity lately, but how much damage can a few dust bunnies and spider webs really cause anyway?

So on Nov. 9 I started the Provera and even though I was told it could take anywhere from 3 – 10 days to get my period, I was in full flow-mode by the next day. Today I get to start taking the Pill, and have already been instructed to take it through December 3, which ironically is Max’s 4 th Birthday. In the days following, I will start my schedule of the fine IVF drugs in prep for our ICSI. I’m psyched. Scared. Excited. Nervous. Scared some more. Etc.

And just for fun, please feel free to finish this sentence, "My uterus is so clean…" For example, "My uterus is so clean…I could see my reflection if I was flexible enough," because we could always use a little levity in our lives – that is if you weren’t able to enjoy the video on the Woomba.