Category Archives: Idon’tknowwhattocallit Category

JUST CALL ME TIPPI

 No, no, not because if you give me a push I’ll tip over like one of those crazy punching toys that has had some air let out of them (I’d say weeble wobbles, but those lucky bastards wobble “but don’t fall down.” Me? I’d not only fall, but I’m fairly sure I would bounce at least once and not get up again), but because BIRDS seem to be out to get me.

Birds #1: Driving down the road a couple of birds were flying after each other. One hit my windshield (why I ducked, I have no idea – shut up). My husband looked behind us down the road and tried to assure me it flew away. I don’t know if I should believe him. I’ve seen my share of birds fly into the house windows, and that’s a stationary object, and usually it doesn’t bode well for the bird’s head.

Bird(s) #2: Went out to my backyard to try to figure out what the hell happened to my lovely tiger lilies that were thigh high with tons of buds on them just a few weeks ago. Now? Every. Single. Plant? Gone. Disappeared. Like they never existed! I thought maybe my husband mowed them over and then moved the yard ornament so I wouldn’t be able to tell, but no. Deer or gophers. I’m not sure, however either way, I’m pissed.

Oh, yeah, the birds. So as I was walking back up to the house, a small bird flew up out of the weeds and dropped back down a ways in front of me displaying a broken wing. Immediately I knew it was because I was very close to its nest. I looked around a bit and found the tiniest little nest, no more than a few inches across and four baby birds. If I had stepped on them, I would have had to throw away my crocs…gross!

Birds #3: Again, driving down the county road and I come up over a hill and there was a pheasant hen and one of her chicks trying to cross the road. No joke. Pheasants are notoriously dumb. That would mean that pheasant youth are really, REALLY dumb. Hen runs back into the ditch. Chick runs the opposite way, stops before reaching the safety of the ditch, and then heads back the other way. What am I doing? Slamming on my brakes on a gravel road to prevent myself from running over an animal that obviously doesn’t qualify under the heading, “Survival of the Fittest” within his community.

Are these signs of something coming, a “foreshadowing”? Or do you think I’m just building up to the time I’m outside and a bird eventually shits on my head – literally?

Postscript: Did you know that Tippi Hedron is the mother of Melanie Griffith?

Also, I highly recommend this youtube video, For The Birds, by Pixar (though I hate the sound editing which changed the voice of the big bird) (I tried to embed the video, but WordPress can be as fickle as Blogger at times).

SNACK TIME

I read two posts this week about nose-picking. After reading Jess’s, who referenced a candybar called Crunchies, my memory was triggered recalling that we have a candy that conjures up images of knuckle-deep nasal cavity searching: Goobers.

Except I couldn’t remember that it was called Goobers. Instead I googled “candy Boogers”.

I shouldn’t have.

Not only do they make Boogers candy, but it is advertised as LOOKING and FEELING like snot. What? It doesn’t TASTE like it, too? What’s the point, then?

Maybe you’d rather have some of these:

No?

What about these?

(Actually, these would be good for your work desk because you won’t have to worry about your fellow co-workers mooching your chocolate stash.)

However, if you want something healthy but craving something salty and crunchy, why not pick up a bag of these:

The other green meat! Entomologists everywhere love them! Enjoy your favorite friendly insect…. the cricket, in 3 delicious flavors: Bacon and Cheese, Salt & Vinegar, and Sour Cream & Onion.

Is it lunch time? I’ve got a sudden case of the munchies.

BLOG FLUFFING

Do you consider yourself a connoisseur of vinyl albums covers, specifically from the early 80s?

Are you a closet rocker?

Do you have a warped sense of humor?

If you answered “maybe”, “not really”, and “yes!” respectfully (or any other combination as long as the third answer is anything to the affirmative), then this YouTube video is for you.

Now rarely do I ever post video links because 1) they take time to load; 2) they require you to have a certain set up on your own computer; and 3) is a cop out for a “real” post (as if any of my posts could be considered “real”!– HA!), but this one is just pretty damn cool. By the way, you can get the jist of the video without sound, but it’s much funnier with.

no. 558 – Redefining Wholesome

When I got home from work last night, I found Mr. DD watching CNN as reporters blahblahblah’ed their way into sanitizing while at the same time, sensationalizing, what happened in Omaha Wednesday afternoon.

For any of you that have watched any national news, you already know. For you others…9 people were shot and killed yesterday in one of the mall stores, including the 20 year old gun man who took his own life.

He stood on the third floor of one of the department stores, pulled out a semi-automatic and just starting shooting from the area of the escalators.

I cried all the way home from work.

People like to think that just a bunch of wholesome farmers live in Nebraska. When something like this happens, I understand the over-the-top horror because of the stereotype, but I also want to smack them over the head. Crimes of violence are relative to population, but that doesn’t make a single act of violence worse depending on its local.

Nine people dead, violently, needlessly. And I would be just as upset if it had happened in Alaska, California or Florida. The local headlines had something to the affect, "It Can Happen Here!" No shit. Anyone who presumes it wouldn’t have has their head buried in a hole.

I guess I learned that lesson five years ago when the nation’s deadliest bank robbery in over a decade took place down the street from where I work.

My heart aches more over the pain another human can inflict upon another without a second thought then it does over the possibility I may know any one of the victims in either events.