While I’m fairly certain I have shaken my two shadows from that other place (which shall go unmentioned), I can’t help but feel paranoid about what-ifs. I’ve avoided any cross-references between this new home and my other as best I could, but as long as I stink, I’ll be leaving a waft of Eu de Old Blog wherever I go.
And with that being said – plus the request to dish on some of my former co-workers – I will have some pwp posts.
I know, I know…what a pain in the ass. Maybe if I was someone who was making oodles of money off my blog that gained notoriety by being fired for even having a blog, I wouldn’t care and I could enjoy sharing Teh Crazy openly.
Email me at thismamasaid (at) gmail (dot) com or leave a comment, and I’ll put you on my list. The GOOD list, not the Shit List. That one’s pretty full already.
Isn’t it funny how when you’re gainfully employed, you complain about it? It could be your co-workers, your boss, your benefits, your office, your view, whatever. It wasn’t uncommon for my friends and I to find ourselves in a collective gripe session, which usually led to each of us encouraging the next to look at suchandsuch position that we noticed had opened up. No one ever did.
I had many concerns about where I worked. I thought about finding something “better”, but was too scared to break out on my own, held captive by the popular The Devil You Know vs. The Devil You Don’t teeter-totter (for the record, I always have preferred the devil I knew). I had moved from entry level to the position I last held within a relatively short amount of time considering my education was all internal. I doubled my salary in just eight years. But I always thought I could do better.
For as many faults as I thought the company had, I truly loved the job I had. The only downside is that it was too customized. While I could take some of the skills one learns as an employee to the next employer, the actual duties aren’t transferrable in a town the size I live in. An analogy would be like being a successful mime and then being laid off from the circus. I can’t just go to the circus across the street and know that they will immediately understand my job duties. There is no other circus in town.
I’ve landed several interviews in the past nine months. I’m not sure what happens after that except while I must look good on paper, I fail to meet whatever expectations they are looking for in person. My husband is trying to convince me that I’m more than likely over-qualified for many, which most have been entry level, but I have to start over. Funny, but no one’s hiring mimes right now.
I feel myself falling into a funk that’s seeped in self-doubt and lack of value. I’m lucky to have the temp position I have, and even though many days I am treated with the same respect as my co-workers, I am also reminded frequently that my future here is extended only day-by-day.
One of the canned questions that I’ve been asked in interviews is “Where do you see yourself in five years?” and I have no idea how the hell I’m suppose to answer that. And why even bother? A year ago, just fresh back to work after my maternity leave, I never would have seen myself working as a temp, our COBRA health insurance coverage half way over, with no prospects for permanent employment, and a self-esteem so damaged I’m tearing up over something as inane as this post.
January 2009 I lost my job. In brief, it wasn’t necessarily an amicable parting. I actually went to the website that promotes hair plugs and clicked on the “send me more info!” button and keyed in my ex-boss’s name and work address.
I chickened out and didn’t submit. There are days, many, many days, I’m still tempted.
Yeah. I’m still really angry.
So yesterday when I got a letter in the mail from my employer’s fundraising committee thanking me for my contribution (the one I gave just weeks before the untimely torching of my employment) to the new addition being constructed, and as part of that thank you, each contributing employee will have their name added to a brick and displayed on a wall in the addition. The letter gave me the option to decline, accept the offer with the name indicated, or to edit the name. You know, in case you got divorced or married or you want your full name or not full name, etc.
Sparring Partner was reading the letter over my shoulder. What are you going to do, he asked? I said, do you know how tempting it would be to return the form with my name changed to “F. U. Formremplyr”??
He then said I should blog it and see what great names you all might recommend if you were me. I’ve also ruled out “Faith Sukkit”, a dig based the company name.
Ramp those thongs up and give it your best shot: what would be a great “name” given the situation? Oh, and don’t worry, I won’t actually do it, but hearing your ideas will distract me from going to the website for the little blue pill and submitting a request for more information and a free sample.